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crazy mother… March 26, 2008

Posted by jonesgurl in crazy people, favorite movies, mothers, my ramblings..., parenting.
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okay, so i was up late in the night and one of my favorite movies came on tv…”divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood”.  vivian (one of the main characters) was for sure a crazy mother. if you’ve never watched this movie it really is about a crazy mother.  if you think your mother had a couple of off days , yelling spells, perfection gone mad days, over the top hormonal meltdowns, i am woman hear me roar moments, i am the queen bee and you will listen to me moments or if she was simply just checked out on life at times (or most times)…whether you know it or not, there is always something that is behind it all.  most moms i know are something to be admired for the strength that they displayed in the face of raising their children.  yet in the dysfunction of all that may have happened in growing up in the fore-mentioned emotional or unemotional environment, most of us don’t know what is sometimes behind those behaviors (there is sometimes a dark side).  if those patterns of behaviors never change in them, as we become adults it has the potential to rip or destroy the very fabric of the mother / child relationship we have with our mothers.  so, what is one to do about such a relationship?????? some parents (when they were growing up or even as they were raising children) were pushed to the point that the bottom dropped out for them but they carried on in life as if nothing ever happened.  lots of them (mothers) have lived that way and still do. we have to chose to make peace with who they are as our parents, honor them and create a relationship that is healthy for you and them as adults.  it may not mean the kind of relationship you fantasize about but it will mean that you can begin to work on your heart and how you approach things with your mother/parents, you will be able to stick to healthy boundaries even if the boundaries are not mother approved.  remember she’s not perfect and neither are we. so i say allow God to work on our heart even if we don’t think God is working on hers.  we will begin to see things so differently and in the midst of it all, we can find peace and know boundaries even if the relationship is not what we hope for.

at some point in the movie vivian finally admitted that she “dropped her basket” in essence…she went crazy.  i know a mother or more that dropped her basket at some point in life but will never admit to it.  does yours ever admit to a bit of the crazies at times? would you admit to it if you “dropped your basket”????? anyhoo, i could just ramble on and on about this but i’ve gotta finish watching the movie…c ya

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easter…all about a man, all about a cross March 26, 2008

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okay, so reflecting on easter and i have had a light bulb moment. i’m not sure when this happened but in my thoughts i have been relating everything in ministry to the way Christ lived and the ever important significance of how and why he died.  it’s not that i did not know it before now, it’s just that something happened as i was planning for the easter week/weekend worship happenings, music, etc.  everything went soooo beyond planning and became like an experience.  i can honestly say that when planning services or thinking about the details i did not always have an emotional connection.  over the past few weeks, i literally had an emotional and contemplative connection to each thing that happened.  i have this thing about being awake for life, fully in the moment, connected to what you do and when you find yourself in that place it almost seems as if your whole life is an experience-good, bad or indifferent. i feel like my responses are more thought out or maybe i’m just getting better at responding more thoughtfully.  at any rate, have you wanted so badly for God to change your heart, your thoughts, your ways and such but wasn’t quite sure when it would happen?  i think it happens when we totally surrender our life…like for real.  if you ever doubt the love of Christ for you, me and others like you or unlike you…no more doubting because He really went far to show us how worth it we all are.  so as i reflect on easter, i can’t seem to get one of my favorite songs “ever live without me” out of my head (check out the video).  i would sing it for you but this video and original artists does a better job (teehee). although this is a dramatic retelling of the story,  the words and the pictures still capture it.

hanging with my peeps… March 25, 2008

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 so, we all know that easter is not about the bunny or the candy or the shiny grass or the glazed ham,mashed potatoes or warm buttered rolls (mmmmmmm-warm buttered rolls). but that certainly does not stop us from indulging in the fun of it all.  i think that i have eaten sooo much food and an abundance of candy that i woke up dizzy (literally) , can you say sugar buzz?.  of course because i’m a sugarholic, i had less of the food and more of the peeps, jelly beans, malted eggs, more peeps and even more peeps.  there is nothing like a marshmallow covered in granulated colored sugar. anyhoo, i’m just rambling as i sit here raiding my 4 year old son’s candy stash from easter and eat more malted eggs, jelly beans and now i’m eyeing the peeps again…mmmmmmmmm!

be healed!!! March 9, 2008

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okay, so like i have a four year old that’s all boy and full of testosterone. which means he’s always playing rough and banging and falling and jumping and running and stuff like that.  so as he tried to demonstrate or “impress” a little girl he was playing with he bounced down on his little knee really hard, so hard that he actually hurt it to the point of limping for a couple of days.  anyhoo, today after taking a long nap, his daddy asked him if he was feeling better and here was his response (no kidding) “yes, my knee feels better, God sent an angel down from heaven to make my knee feel better and now it does. i prayed and  now it’s all healed up, you know i always do that (pray).” then he continued to eat his macaroni as if he hadn’t just impressed or surprised mommy and daddy (more importantly, he wasn’t even trying to).   i say that this is a kid who really believes all that he is taught in children’s church and he really takes it all to heart.  i certainly hope that it never leaves him. how many of us live so totally uninhibited that we just aren’t ashamed to say what we believe as it relates to the power of Christ?

it’s the law! March 6, 2008

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little-mr.jpg

 

 new law maker???

i’m not sure if any of you have heard or not but my little four year old has just announced to me that there is a law and apparently i must have missed the memo that stated this. here is the deal…my little bear was running down the stairs and fell from the landing and his fall was broken by my guitar that was fortunately (or unfortunately?) at the end of the staircase. as he was screaming bloody murder, i scooped him up, held him tight and applied a cold pack to his poor little throbbing head.  as he sat there and sobbed and sobbed and the tears started to subside a little, he decided that his fall was my fault.  all of a sudden i hear, “mommy, why weren’t you watching me. you are supposed to watch me walk down the stairs. it’s the law! the law is that parents are supposed to watch their children walk down the stairs, and you didn’t do that. next time momma, will you watch me walk down the stairs? okay.” then he said, “when daddy sees me, he is going to be sad.” he’s only four and he’s already trying to state the law and then appeal to the people’s emotions.  maybe he’s all caught up in this political season but he’s picked up some stuff.

first, thank God he only scrapped his head on the guitar case and only got a little bump.  second, when is it my fault that he decided to do stunts down the staircase. can somebody remind me of that laws of parenting?

toooooo loud!!!! March 3, 2008

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call me a dreamer or eternally optimistic (most times) but i love to think crazy big dreams and think optimistically rather than to stay in a mediocre state of mind or state of being. have you ever had someone try to put a lid on your over the top dreaming?  i thought of this question as i was in costco. if you’re ever in costco, as you walk in they have these large screen and flat screen televisions usually with some exciting sporting event or movie playing so that you can get the sound and the feel and pretty much so that you can “get the big picture” (no pun intended) of this surround sound theatre like effect in your own home.  anyhoo, as i was standing there checking out a movie on one of the screens, one of the store clerks comes over and turns down the volume to something less than what human ears can hear.  this totally changed the experience for me.  if i was in the market to make a purchase for one of these hot electronic items his action would have caused me to suddenly change my mind and rethink the notion of whether i need it or not.  the point of selling something like that is not to get them to rethink buying, it would be to get people more excited about wanting the item even if it’s not on their agenda, right? i’m sure what he did was not what “mr. costco” had in mind when he had things set up to engulf you with the sound and crisp clear picture to peak your interest.  as this store clerk turned down the volume he whispered something under his breath like “that’s too much, too loud”).  hummph, too much too loud??!!?? what kinda store clerk does that?  it just made me think of something i’ve encountered at different times in life…to never give in to someone telling you that the dream, the vision, the passion that God put in you to do BIG things or creative things or exciting things is too much, too, loud, too big.  if ever someone attempts to put a lid on or mellow you out…don’t give into it!!!  DREAM BIG, LIVE BIG, PRAY FOR GOD TO TRANSFORM YOU FROM THE INSIDE OUT SO THAT YOU CAN DO THE BIG, CREATIVE AND EXCITING THINGS THAT HE HAS CALLED YOU TO!!! you may think that what you do for others is simple, but as you make a mark in someone else’s life you may never see or know the lasting and sometimes big effect it may have in their life.  so, go BIG or go home.  never let naysayers and irritated people cause you to doubt some of the unique things that burn within you.  all the bumps and the bruises of life…you will inevitably survive and thrive from. you can show others that there is hope and no matter what may come,  you still can do BIG things, EXCITING things, CREATIVE things (you get the picture)

seriously men, that’s gross… March 3, 2008

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okay, so i am always afraid to shake a man’s hand because i see them digging and picking.  (not to mention that i am somewhat of a germaphobe).  i sure you have been driving on the road and have seen someone going to town digging for gold (if you know what i mean).  well, the other day i was talking to a friend i hadn’t seen in a while and as we are in conversation he picked a little, not a little itch rub your nose kinda thing but he picked a little and then the kinda picked a little higher into his nostril as he continued to talk.  i was praying that he reached out for a hug instead of a parting hand shake cuz i’m not sure if i could have contained my self from doing the heebie jeebie dance.  so yes, we hugged instead of a handshake (whew!)

okay, so i was hanging out and a group of us were all talking and one of the guys was in the al bundy pose (actor from married with children),  hands down his pants just chillin’ in fact, i’m sure his hands were further down his pants.  as i looked at him to see if he would stop he looks up (obviously a bit embarrassed) and said “i had to adjust”.  seriously, do women dig and pick and scratch and adjust that much.  i’m very thankful for hand sanitizer!!! just venting a little bit:)

reflecting on a meltdown… March 1, 2008

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 okay, so the other day stress got the best of me and it all came crashing down at once.  i’m not supposed to show stress because “i am woman, hear me roar”.  but it figures that as much strength that i believe that i have in being able to handle life’s stuff is the same amount of emotional pinned up energy that i have.  it serves me right that it will take 5 months of seemingly non-stop one stressful event after another.  pile on the fact that andre’ had to leave town for a whole month for like top secret training for a new job in remote countryside (missery  missouri:).  bring on the looooonnnnngggg awaited tears.  not to mention that i had t-minus 10 minutes to get on stage and lead /dir. worship service…how??? ummmm.  the story:  life’s unfortunate mishaps, add to that a weekend of murphy’s law all the way through sunday morning.  as i headed to the sanctuary to tie up loose ends prior to service i turn around and see a fountain that flooded the floor in the middle of the hall and a morning that wouldn’t quit (all before 9:30 am), MaKe iT sToP!!! anyhoo, don’t you just hate it when you’re trying to hold it together and someone says, “is everything okay” and before you know it you’re bawling so hard that you feel as if your head is going to pop off and in that moment you wish that it would and the rapture would come and take us all because…you don’t want to go on stage looking like something the cat dragged in.  obviously i have no shame because i went on stage anyway, prayed for strength and hoped that what was said was a blessing to someone in someway.  thank God that his grace is sufficient and so is his mercy.  what a morning!!!  have you ever had one of those days that everything seemed to go to pot and one little puddle of water could send you MeLtInG down?  i really can handle life but this roaring woman had enough.  sooo, here’s the lesson, take time to download all your stresses on a daily. whether you journal, pray and journal, read, take a hot soothing bath, meditate, or go for a long run…download daily and you won’t end up near the point of “certifiable” (okay not really but you know what i mean).  so how did it end? i survived the day, sucked down a cup of coffee, cleaned my face and slapped on some lip gloss (the answer to everything – teehee) and let God’s grace carry me through the rest of the day and of course later on my baby boy and i took a  loonnnngggg nap!!! (the other answer to everything – teehee)