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crazy mother… March 26, 2008

Posted by jonesgurl in crazy people, favorite movies, mothers, my ramblings..., parenting.

okay, so i was up late in the night and one of my favorite movies came on tv…”divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood”.  vivian (one of the main characters) was for sure a crazy mother. if you’ve never watched this movie it really is about a crazy mother.  if you think your mother had a couple of off days , yelling spells, perfection gone mad days, over the top hormonal meltdowns, i am woman hear me roar moments, i am the queen bee and you will listen to me moments or if she was simply just checked out on life at times (or most times)…whether you know it or not, there is always something that is behind it all.  most moms i know are something to be admired for the strength that they displayed in the face of raising their children.  yet in the dysfunction of all that may have happened in growing up in the fore-mentioned emotional or unemotional environment, most of us don’t know what is sometimes behind those behaviors (there is sometimes a dark side).  if those patterns of behaviors never change in them, as we become adults it has the potential to rip or destroy the very fabric of the mother / child relationship we have with our mothers.  so, what is one to do about such a relationship?????? some parents (when they were growing up or even as they were raising children) were pushed to the point that the bottom dropped out for them but they carried on in life as if nothing ever happened.  lots of them (mothers) have lived that way and still do. we have to chose to make peace with who they are as our parents, honor them and create a relationship that is healthy for you and them as adults.  it may not mean the kind of relationship you fantasize about but it will mean that you can begin to work on your heart and how you approach things with your mother/parents, you will be able to stick to healthy boundaries even if the boundaries are not mother approved.  remember she’s not perfect and neither are we. so i say allow God to work on our heart even if we don’t think God is working on hers.  we will begin to see things so differently and in the midst of it all, we can find peace and know boundaries even if the relationship is not what we hope for.

at some point in the movie vivian finally admitted that she “dropped her basket” in essence…she went crazy.  i know a mother or more that dropped her basket at some point in life but will never admit to it.  does yours ever admit to a bit of the crazies at times? would you admit to it if you “dropped your basket”????? anyhoo, i could just ramble on and on about this but i’ve gotta finish watching the movie…c ya



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