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the day after… June 30, 2008

Posted by jonesgurl in 1.
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okay, so now is it here with my thoughts and stuff and i’m thinking…should i sleep all day or should i get out and enjoy the perfect summer day or should i hit the to do list?  ix-nay on the do do list, sitting in the swing chair in the backyard would be much more appropriate to take advantage of this fantastic summer day but i can’t peel my butt off of the sofa to get out there. 

today is the day after my final day as the worship arts director at ncc and i’m not sure what to think.  how about nothing.  i don’t want to think or do.  i have a day after headache.  it was a great day and there were lots of details to the service but people were blessed by the experience and so was i.  how appropriate the theme of the day…”letting go”.  (things that make you go hmmmm).  i must say that i appreciate God allowing me to to serve in that role.  it was fun, frustrating, exciting, crazy, creative, hard but an expereince i would not trade for anything.  i so appreciate the support, friendship, ministry, love and team building that i got a chance to do at ncc and with the team that i worked with.  it seems that when things end, God opens the door for greater things to happen…if we allow. so here we go, next level for ncc and me.  my prayer is that we all take full notice of what’s happening around us and onward and upward folks! i think i’m a bit sad that it’s over and then again excited about God’s plans for all of our future. 

so, today i choose to have a lazy monday and perhaps i’ll do next to nothing and think about nothing.  i’m even typing this with my head flipped back on the sofa and my eyes closed.   in fact i’m nearly half asleep.  i think i’m just emotionally tired because there is so much going through my head…the ending of one thing that was big in my life to the beginning of other things.  it’s a very strange time in my house but i’m looking forward to what God has planned for me and my family.  i say that as i know that right now, i take a bit of a break to do what i need to do.  you know, stuff like sofa sessions, for those of you who have had a few sofa sessions you know what i talking about, you either sit upright and spill your guts or you can lie down and spill your guts.  either way, the point of it all is to work out some stuff that need to be dealt with.  okay, totally off the topic, but one time i was in my sofa session and i was sitting there thinking..”wow this is a really nice chocolate brown buttery soft leather sofa, are all sofa session offices this comfy”?  teehee

anyhoo, i plan to take full advantage of this time of rest and relaxation and working through a few things with my with my immediate family and myself.  momma is tired.  (btw, how am i doing for typing with my eyes closed? i’m even correcting with my eyes closed) anyhoo, as keep plugging forward, i will also concentrate on working through something that i experienced in the form of a little tiny miracle.  she was splitting image of me  with lots of hair and  she brought with her emotions that i’ll never understand, love that i cannot explain, an imprint on the hearts of anyone who knew of her and questions that are insatiable…if that’s possible.  she left me wanting her in my presence from moment to moment to moment to moment and those moments have yet to end.  what i eventually realized but still have trouble grappling with is that the essence of who God allowed her to be in our lives is always here even though she is not physically in my presence.  i miss her sorely, dearly, terribly but i owe it to myself and her to walk through the process of her not being here.  i am forever a different person.  though the essence of me is and will always be there, i have somewhat accepted that who i am is affected.  this is going to be an interesting time in life but ready or not…here i go! stay tuned as i walk this journey.



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