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it hurts to love… July 14, 2008

Posted by jonesgurl in 1.
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okay, so right now i want to be somewhere else.  a tropical vacation would be very nice.  i don’t want to feel but right now i’m feeling lots of things and i wish that i could sit numb for a moment.  i miss one of the little loves of my life and i’m tired and i want to go to sleep but i can’t.  i can’t breathe.  i want to cry but i just keep holding it in. i want to scream but i’m afraid that nothing will come out of my mouth.  i want there to be peace, love and flower children…but i missed the 60s. teehee  i want all of my wishes to come true for me, my family and my friends or what the heck…everyone! i want gas for three dollars or less or free. teehee.  i want to be more like Christ, but sometimes i just miss the mark.  i want to listen more and talk less.  i want to love hard without regret. i want to respond with love and grace in confrontation.  i want to be less selfish and more giving. i want lots of money so that i can help more people. i want to be more compassionate, more gracious and less judgemental. i want to trust God and believe Him when he takes me on a journey.  i want to hug my babies (both of them). i want to be done with grieving. i want to be done with grieving. i want to be done with grieving.  (did that make it stop?) hmmm.  this “no air” song really captured some of my thoughts that i’ve been feeling except it’s not love between a guy and a girl, but love from a mommy to a daughter.  i actually listened to the lyrics and i really like this song…

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