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babies and big lips… March 11, 2009

Posted by jonesgurl in children, hmmmmm, mommies, my ramblings....
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it seems that everyone has an opinion, a thought, an axe to grind, a stone to throw and so on a so forth.  i must say that i’m not quite sure what to say about that situation.  that octomom situation, that is.  she is in a very tough and overwhelming position right now.  did she bring it upon herself?  could she have let someone else have the babies? could/should she have taken a pass on the oversized lip surgery?  who knows.

i guess i could look at all that she’s done as it relates to her ever increasing family and how she should have done this and that differently. if i expressed my opinion, would it be me casting judgement.  but i do believe that there is probably a whole lot more to the story than any of us know.  though, we do know enough to be floored by it all.  or do we?

is it any of our business?  as concerned citizens, we have a right to remain nosey, right?  if she didn’t want us all to be concerned, why is she offering interviews with every form of media possible?  if it’s helping her to raise the funds that she needs to take care of her situation…do we say – go for it?

now that the babies are here, the attention would be best given to the eight new little precious babies as well as the other six children.  will they go home to an already overwhelmed mom?  will she adopt them out to some other parents who are in a position to emotionally, mentally and physically care for them.  heck, how do we not know that with lots and lots of help and a different/bigger place to live, if she can actually do it or not? it just might be possible.  is it fair to the children and whose call is it to make?

 i was speaking with a mother of my son’s classmate the other day and she said that her mom is one of 18 children.  all natural born to the same mother and father.  however, it didn’t sound so odd to me because in the days of our grandparents and even in the days of some of our parents, largeover-sized families were not an extremely odd thing, from what i hear.

my mother had eight siblings.  i never really thought much of it.  i’m assuming that at times it must have been overwhelming for people with very expanded families.  according to all stories told, they did whatever was needed to care for their family.  as far as i can tell, they all came out okay…in a matter of speaking.  i don’t think i ever heard my aunts, uncles or my mom speak of their childhood being jam packed with too many kids.  they seemed to all have experienced parental love, care and if they moved quick enough, they all got a good meal.  but, is that all that there is?  how fulfilling could a life like that be and who gets neglected, misses out on new clothes/shoes or good hand me downs, cultural experiences, one-on-one time, individualized care for disabilities and so on and so forth?  looking at all of this, i think she has a right to be overwhelmed.  and i assume that she is doing some major self evaluation at this point.  she has probably said over and over to herself, “what the!!!”

i am raising one little one and when times are tight as they are with our current layoff situation, i truly get concerned about whether we will be able to provide a well rounded and fulfilling life for him.  thankfully i can be and am thrifty and creative…thanks mom. 

i pray that she gets the resources and helping hands that are needed for her brood.  the babies are here, the deed has been done and she is now freaking out.  if you could, what would you offer to her? ( even if you are angry with her decisions)

so what’s with all of the sensationalism?  i guess the other day, she said she is overwhelmed and is concerned because some of the babies could possibly be comng home soon.  what to do? what to do? 

octomom has some tough decisions to make.  if one of those decisions is whether or not she has to adopt out her children because she has no money, not enough help and no wherewithal to have a healthy family with the new eight additions…that would be the most extreme choice i would ever even imagine she would have to make.  imagine her dilema!

there are consequences on either side.  she would probably be emotional wrecked if they had to go home with someone else.  but then again, she would probably be overwhelmed and without proper resources if they came home with her. 

how many of us would actually be able to make the best decision without thinking that we are not making the best decision? 

here’s the deal.  how christ deals with us is not by looking at our sins as a way to punish us.  though there are natural consequences, there is also grace and mercy from the one who came to redeem us.  he is our counselor, comforter, keeper, redeemer and friend.  so, he definitely would not keep talking to us about how we should have or could have or must have or even how stupid we are.  trust me, he knows how faulty and flawed we are.   but he also promises that upon seeking his forgiveness, upon seeking his wisdom, we can know a different life.  all of us will experience some of life’s drama, but, christ can lead us to wiser decision making…if we seek and ask.

in retrospect, she has said – she probably would have thought twice about being implantedwith more embryos. to live as if she alone was invincible and able  to care for 6 or even 7 children (let alone 14) without a father in the picture and without giving second thought to circumstances was fantasy to say the least.

so the focus should definitely be on what now.  yes, there are some things that will be investigated and laws that may change, or legal regulations put into place and so on and so forth, all based on this whole situation.  i guess, all things happen for a reason.

in the meantime, moving forward.  the focus should be on the six, plus the eight, plus the three adults (2 overwhelmed grandparents with a house in foreclosure status and a harried mom who obviously is in need of many things…).  how to care for them, who will care for them and how to move toward making this situation – a life that god can redeem. should this be the focus now?

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