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big moments going down today… May 17, 2011

Posted by jonesgurl in baby's first birthday, children.
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anyhoo, really fun day. nope, not because i was going to the oprah show finale spectacular at the united center, that pales in comparison to lady bug turning ONE.  she had cake for the first time and she hardly even ate the frosting or the cake.  is this my child?  i am a buttercream frosting loving fool.  so, she blew out her first candle, had a special birthday lunch and was smooched and hugged and loved continuously.  i had an oops with her cupcake, ugh

the day of partying started with this… 

her very first cake and candle

 

opening presents from her tia

 

twins

 

singing happy birthday

 
 
and ended with this…
 
our tickets to party with 13,000 plus people for the big O
 
yay me! i got tickets to the oprah show finale thingama PARTAY spectacular fest to beat all fest! it was a tough call.  do i spend the entire day handing out with lady bug for her first birthday and go to the show that night?  i seriously pondered this and mother’s guilt was kicking my butt!  reluctantly and happily, full of excitement and full of guilt, ready to party with lady bug and ready to party with oprah…what to do what to do. baby in one hand, tickets in the other. so, with tickets in hand, we made our way to the show, but not until after her birthday lunch.  i mean really, if she could talk she would tell me to go, right?  teehee.  it was a blast, by the way.  my best friend and i went and it was totally one of our full circle moments.  when i first moved here i got tickets to the oprah show and she and i went.    now fast forward 10 years later and we are going again to the finale spectacular show taping. what? so fun! and i almost didn’t get tickets.  i sent in a request for tickets and they sent a reply back letting me know that a gazillion people made requests and i would not be in the house for the party.  and a couple days later they sent another email stating there may be a possibility if i reply asap.  i replied asap and the rest is history.  yet another full circle moment with my best friend.  and another adventure me-thelma and her-louise.  tee hee
 
exhaustion has set in and i am now sick. ugh.  by the way, she didn’t miss me much because she fell asleep within a couple of hours.

you shouldn’t smoke weed…it’s full of rat poison! February 1, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in brown boy pride, children, cigarettes and other drugs, gotta love it, hmmmmm, my baby. my boyl my joy.
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okay, so i almost could not contain myself as i hid my face behind a small chapter book of my six year old myles.  the title of the book – horrible harry and the green slime…rated G. really, it is…i checked.

after reading the book i quizzed myles on each chapter.  i asked him to run through the chapters with me and explain what went on.  as we came upon one of the chapters entitled “deadly skits” he began to explain to me the details of this chapter.  basically this particular chapter was about how the principal of the school wanted the children to make a presentation about how cigarettes are not good for you.  one of the groups in the class decided that they were going to do a skit on how cigarettes can kill you.  as he (myles) first started explaining the chapter, he said that the kids were going to do a skit on smoking weed.  ummmm, silence. pause. huh? so i said, “what do you mean smoking weed and what is weed anyway.  by the way, we’ve already had the d.a.r.e talk, drugs are bad for you, the prescription drugs and the street drugs conversation with him.  anyhoo, he said that the picture in the book (which was a picture of a cigarette) was a picture of weed.  mind you i was still wondering why he was using the street name of weed and not marijuana or something else.  so, he went on this little rant about how people shouldn’t smoke weed because it’s bad for you and you could die.  “plus”, he said, “it has rat poison it.”  then he added, “our neighbors smoke weed and they are sick.”  “they are going to be really sick and they have rat poison in their body.” 

as i listened while hiding behind this book of his trying not to laugh out loud, i had to peer over the book to see his expression as he had his his teeny tiny “soap box” moment.  we picked his brain a bit to see if he was clear on cigarettes and “weed”.  according to him, if you’re smoking, you’re smoking “weed”. any smoking is smoking “weed”.  though we tried to explain to him that there is a difference between cigarettes and “weed” he said, “okay”, and continued with his conversation. 

this was a conversation that i never thought i’d have, at least not this early in his very very young life.   imagine, a six year old who reads way too well, thinks that he knows way too much, interprets the world through the eyes of a sheltered six year old and acts like an old soul.  he has advanced in his verbiage a bit –  he use to say that people that were smoking were “cigretting”.  you know, like dancing, singing, laughing…cigretting.  he didn’t know that it was called smoking.  i once felt that he still had a tad bit of his innocence and ignorance to the world when he asked me about the neighbor cigretting.  i breathed a little sigh of relief knowing that he wasn’t quite sure what “smoking” was…or so i though.  sigh.  sigh.  exasperated sigh.  that thought no longer holds true. big “what the heck” sigh.

i would blame his knowledge of cigarettes filled with  rat poison and “weed” being bad for you on the day we let the t.v. play more than pbs.  but that reasoning will hardly work.  or will it? 

one day he saw a public service announcement about a girl home alone being questioned about smoking weed.  it was not even time for prime time shows or prime time commercials and this was on t.v.  i could not turn the t.v. fast enough before he was already repeating the words…”why is lindsey smoking weed?” ummmm, huh? what?!!! ummm, how did i answer? i don’t remember but i’m sure i’ve never had to think so fast on my feet…ever! 

and then, he saw the scare tactic t.r.u.t.h. commercials that try to give hard core evidence to people who smoke, how horrific cigarettes and “cigretting” is.  yet again, he soaked it in like a sponge. 

i have a kid who can repeat a song after hearing it one time, reads big words that i sometimes wished he didn’t know yet, soaks everything in and gives his six year old boy version of a passionate speech or plea or his version of how the world works.  so, what makes me think that he wouldn’t be giving people the “what for” about how they should not “cigrette” or smoke “weed”.  i’m almost afraid of what he’s going to say to the neighbors the next time he sees them smoking.  because he’s not shy and is way too comfy standing on his on in speaking with adults, he will probably let them know that the “weed” things they’re smoking are full of rat poison (important note:  my neighbors do not smoke “weed” they smoke cigarettes.  so, no…my neighbors are not pot smokers.  although, they might have a case of black lung:().  i tell you one thing, this little speech of his would definitely be more embarrassing for them, especally because he talks a wee bit loud sometimes.  as i’ve learned am learning to reign my soap box moments in a bit more, he too will learn how to do this as well one day.  anyhoo, at least he hates people “cigretting” as much as i do. 

sigh of relief…no real book report required!

in the mean time, i urge all of you to not go out “cigretting on your weed sticks”

until next time

toni

can i kiss you… April 8, 2009

Posted by jonesgurl in children, what the heck.
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he really is turning into such a good sport.  he, being my myles (my precious five year old).  am i surprised?  ummmm yeah.  i’ve seen some un- sportsman-like behavior come from him that really made me wonder. 

the other day i listened in on a play date that myles was having with a friend.   he did not know that i was listening and i witnessed by way of eavesdropping (don’t act like you don’t do it to your children) his little compassionate heart up-close.  (insert sentimental sigh)

myles and his little friend were reading books and he noticed his friend struggling to read a lot of the words in the book.  so he told her, “you don’t have to read all the words in the book, you can just make up your own words, it’s okay if you make them up.”   as soon as he said this to his friend, she was immediately at ease and started “reading” her own words without the shame of not knowing the real words. 

he never once told his friend how well he reads, he never teased his friend, nor did he question his friend about what they could or could not do.  (sentimental sigh) at the moment i could have just given him a big ‘ol momma bear hug for his thoughtfulness.

so here’s the kicker…he later asked his little friend if he could kiss her hand.  oh yeah, smooth move slick willy.  so all along, was he just sweetening her up to get a kiss?  i wanted to yell into the room – dude, slow down…you’re only five!

snips and snails and puppy dog tails… March 18, 2009

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change, brown boy pride, children, my ramblings....
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remember this nursery rhyme…

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy-dogs’ tails,
That’s what little boys are made of.
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice, and everything nice,
That’s what little girls are made of.

yes, i now believe that’s what little boys are made of – snips, snails and puppy dog tails.

i was walking myles (my five year old) home from school.  as the parents picked up their student and the children said good bye, myles yells out to one of the little girls – “bye, i’m gonna marry you”! i’m thinking…huh, what?  no, not yet!!! no girls!!! there will be plenty of time for that…like in 20 years when he’s all done with college or something like that.

i look at him and laugh a little.  then i gave him a second look.  i laughed again because he thought he was “big boy” cool (chasing girls and such), not even realizing he was walking around with his hat on inside out while trying to woo a woman.  

 moving along, we unlocked his bike, he hopped on and began to ride…in the mud, dirt, rocks, bugs and such.  no problem right? this is just something that little kids do.  though it’s gross, you’ve gotta let them have fun. 

on the way home he and a classmate of his played for a little bit before we head out on our journey home.  so they’re running and playing and such.  all of a sudden his little friend falls to the ground and scrapes her knee (hole in the pants and all).  like a typical kid she cries a bit and gets a hug from her mom.  normally, myles would be very concerned and give a quick comforting hug.  no. not this time. he looked at her to make sure she was okay and then when she kept whimpering a bit he picked up his rock from the ground, took off running and said, “oh please”.  where’s the compassion that he used to have?  sigh.  it’s official!  he’s got the “i don’t care” man in him. he is a boy.

and then, all the way he rode through the dirt, mud, mud, mud and more mud.

sigh.  that’s my boy and i’ve gotta get used to it.  mud, dirt, bugs, scraped up knees, ripped up pants, and that i don’t give a care attitude.

mr. alien hands

my-boy

babies and big lips… March 11, 2009

Posted by jonesgurl in children, hmmmmm, mommies, my ramblings....
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it seems that everyone has an opinion, a thought, an axe to grind, a stone to throw and so on a so forth.  i must say that i’m not quite sure what to say about that situation.  that octomom situation, that is.  she is in a very tough and overwhelming position right now.  did she bring it upon herself?  could she have let someone else have the babies? could/should she have taken a pass on the oversized lip surgery?  who knows.

i guess i could look at all that she’s done as it relates to her ever increasing family and how she should have done this and that differently. if i expressed my opinion, would it be me casting judgement.  but i do believe that there is probably a whole lot more to the story than any of us know.  though, we do know enough to be floored by it all.  or do we?

is it any of our business?  as concerned citizens, we have a right to remain nosey, right?  if she didn’t want us all to be concerned, why is she offering interviews with every form of media possible?  if it’s helping her to raise the funds that she needs to take care of her situation…do we say – go for it?

now that the babies are here, the attention would be best given to the eight new little precious babies as well as the other six children.  will they go home to an already overwhelmed mom?  will she adopt them out to some other parents who are in a position to emotionally, mentally and physically care for them.  heck, how do we not know that with lots and lots of help and a different/bigger place to live, if she can actually do it or not? it just might be possible.  is it fair to the children and whose call is it to make?

 i was speaking with a mother of my son’s classmate the other day and she said that her mom is one of 18 children.  all natural born to the same mother and father.  however, it didn’t sound so odd to me because in the days of our grandparents and even in the days of some of our parents, largeover-sized families were not an extremely odd thing, from what i hear.

my mother had eight siblings.  i never really thought much of it.  i’m assuming that at times it must have been overwhelming for people with very expanded families.  according to all stories told, they did whatever was needed to care for their family.  as far as i can tell, they all came out okay…in a matter of speaking.  i don’t think i ever heard my aunts, uncles or my mom speak of their childhood being jam packed with too many kids.  they seemed to all have experienced parental love, care and if they moved quick enough, they all got a good meal.  but, is that all that there is?  how fulfilling could a life like that be and who gets neglected, misses out on new clothes/shoes or good hand me downs, cultural experiences, one-on-one time, individualized care for disabilities and so on and so forth?  looking at all of this, i think she has a right to be overwhelmed.  and i assume that she is doing some major self evaluation at this point.  she has probably said over and over to herself, “what the!!!”

i am raising one little one and when times are tight as they are with our current layoff situation, i truly get concerned about whether we will be able to provide a well rounded and fulfilling life for him.  thankfully i can be and am thrifty and creative…thanks mom. 

i pray that she gets the resources and helping hands that are needed for her brood.  the babies are here, the deed has been done and she is now freaking out.  if you could, what would you offer to her? ( even if you are angry with her decisions)

so what’s with all of the sensationalism?  i guess the other day, she said she is overwhelmed and is concerned because some of the babies could possibly be comng home soon.  what to do? what to do? 

octomom has some tough decisions to make.  if one of those decisions is whether or not she has to adopt out her children because she has no money, not enough help and no wherewithal to have a healthy family with the new eight additions…that would be the most extreme choice i would ever even imagine she would have to make.  imagine her dilema!

there are consequences on either side.  she would probably be emotional wrecked if they had to go home with someone else.  but then again, she would probably be overwhelmed and without proper resources if they came home with her. 

how many of us would actually be able to make the best decision without thinking that we are not making the best decision? 

here’s the deal.  how christ deals with us is not by looking at our sins as a way to punish us.  though there are natural consequences, there is also grace and mercy from the one who came to redeem us.  he is our counselor, comforter, keeper, redeemer and friend.  so, he definitely would not keep talking to us about how we should have or could have or must have or even how stupid we are.  trust me, he knows how faulty and flawed we are.   but he also promises that upon seeking his forgiveness, upon seeking his wisdom, we can know a different life.  all of us will experience some of life’s drama, but, christ can lead us to wiser decision making…if we seek and ask.

in retrospect, she has said – she probably would have thought twice about being implantedwith more embryos. to live as if she alone was invincible and able  to care for 6 or even 7 children (let alone 14) without a father in the picture and without giving second thought to circumstances was fantasy to say the least.

so the focus should definitely be on what now.  yes, there are some things that will be investigated and laws that may change, or legal regulations put into place and so on and so forth, all based on this whole situation.  i guess, all things happen for a reason.

in the meantime, moving forward.  the focus should be on the six, plus the eight, plus the three adults (2 overwhelmed grandparents with a house in foreclosure status and a harried mom who obviously is in need of many things…).  how to care for them, who will care for them and how to move toward making this situation – a life that god can redeem. should this be the focus now?

his world does not revolve around me… February 4, 2009

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change, children, growth, life, mommies, my baby. my boyl my joy.
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so, i dropped my myles off at kindergarten this morning.  as he rushed into the building, he fell.  no biggie.  he got up, stared at his hands and then continued walking slowly into the building looking at his hand.  i nearly chased after him trying to hold back tears.  there was a teacher that was going into the building that checked on him for me. 

can you believe that i almost cried over that?  i think that i was near tears because i could actually see him from a distance and i was not right there to pick him up and kiss his boo boo. sigh.  i was not the first one to reach him. i realized the influence that will enter his life will not come from my house only. i realized his world is beyond me and the relationship that we share.  sigh

although i feel like my world revolves around him…the older he gets, the more he branches out, the more relationships he develops and next year when he attends school full time – his world will not revolve around only me. sigh!

it had just dawned on me, in that moment – i will not always be there to pick him up when he falls, i will not always be there to give him what he needs, i will not always be there to kiss his boo boos. sigh

i’ve got to be weaned off gently and slowly.  these situations can’t just sneak up on me all willy nilly. i guess it’s a matter of me getting into this slowly or just being pushed out there.  i think that i’ve just been pushed!

fall-pics-005

i better hold on tight to this sweet face…for now:)

fall-pics-0211

my big boy

angels… January 31, 2009

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amber-1

it’s been about three years. everyday i still think of my little angel.  how she would be, how she would talk, how she would walk and what fun she would have with her brother.  sometimes if i let my imagination “go there”, i can almost feel her presence.  sometimes if i close my eyes and snuggle in my blanket with my eyes clothes, i actually think that i could live in that space. imagining and dreaming of the wonderful world it would be to see her prancing around in her tutu, ballet slippers and little league jersey.  interesting combination huh.  one day i actually envisioned her as a little ballerina tomboy.

today was just “one of those days” for me.  you know, one of those days when you just feel all melancholy and a bit sad and you want to be alone.  i was missing my baby girl.  you see, she’s in heaven.  and this was the kind of day that her being in heaven was just not good enough. 

the other day, i was speaking with a friend on the phone and we were talking about myles’ (my five year old) report card from kindergarten.  his grades were mostly 4s which would translate to an a, a few 3s which would translate to a grade of b and then there was one c on his entire report card.  the question that my friend and everyone else wanted to know was, why the one c and what subject was it in.  i told her that it was in coloring and she laughed as everyone else did.  the laughter was because she knew that there was a story behind this.  according to the teacher, he is not as neat as he could be when working on coloring in his classwork.  his response to me was “well, i’m a professional”.  this, for myles, translates into him saying that he will do whatever he wants because he doesn’t want to listen to directions in his creativity.  so for the teacher, this translates into a note at the bottom of the report card that read, “myles is a pleasure to have in class.  he is a great student.  i would like for him to work on neatness with his coloring”.  myles was very much so unaffected by the neatness comment.  he also reminded me of his professional status in art…that would be my myles.

anyhoo, as my friend and i were continuing the conversation, she said, “i wonder how amber would be?” i bet she would give you guys a run for your money, i bet she would be in charge around there.”  before i could even speak, i felt like the breath of life left me for a moment.  someone was actually not afraid to speak my baby girl’s name and talk about life and her and what it could possibly have been.  this was such a blessed conversation and totally out of the box for my friend, who most always chooses what she says carefully or chooses not to show much emotion as to not hurt one’s feelings.  i didn’t know what to say, so i laughed nervously for a moment.   was quite excited that someone else wanted to share thoughts of her.  it was quite interesting because i have often thought that she would be cute, sassy and in charge.  after i got past the initial shock and excitement the conversation continued.

my angel baby is never far from my thoughts.  i don’t have the words to say what it meant to know others (my dear friend, in particular)thinks of her and how she would fit into our family dynamic. 

today at church, myles made a project that was a – trust box.  he was so excited and couldn’t wait to get home and put some things inside of it.  as we drove home, we were talking to him about his little project and he said a couple of interesting things.  he said that he was going to put a note inside to the lord, asking him to help him grow big and strong and able to do things for himself.  the other thing he said he was going to ask for was to bring his sister down from heaven so that he can play with her.  he said that he didn’t want her up there.  after his dad talked to him about that for a minute, he then said that he wanted to go into heaven to see her and bring her back down here with him.

if only my little buddy knew that that same day, i was wishing i could bring her down here to play with her too.  sigh.

i figured out that i can still have peace but at the same time allow myself to have whatever the feelings i have at the moment.  it’s pretty much because i have hope.  i have hope for my future and what it can be.  i have faith and trust in the provisions of god.  i know that there will days like this.  but i also know that it’s okay that i have days like this because…it just is.  and it’s okay.

we’re going to the inaugural ball… January 19, 2009

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change, children, history, inauguration happenings, my ramblings..., new president.
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 yes! the 2009 inaugural ball for president obama…we’re going.

myles  is excited, i’m excited…we’re all excited! 

hmmmm…does this mean i have to wear panty hose? teehee

stay tuned for pictures from our time at the ball.  i’m so glad that he is alert and aware and excited about this really historic and important time in history for him.  it’s really fun to have a kid who is so passionate and eager to participate in what’s happening around him.

this is one time he is not going to mind dressing like steve harvey. teehee  (see post: “i’m sick of looking like an old man”)

history in the making (from kindergarten to president) November 4, 2008

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change, children, history, president 2008, raising children.
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historic day for you, for me, for the whole dang country.  i will document this day in my scrapbook for a couple of different reasons. i always vote but today i voted in this, need i say it again…historic election with my myles AND i had my very first parent/teacher conference for my five year old and i did it all in the same building! 

parent/teacher conference reports for kindergarten was fairly simple.  i remember when my parents went to parent/teacher conferences when i was little.  we would be in such suspense waiting for my parents to get home from our school.  regardless of what we thought the teachers would say, for added security and insurance for ourselves, we would make sure that all chores were done and the house was in tip top shape.  we would make sure that when they walked in the door they would find nothing out of order (including us).  that’s kind of funny now to think back on those memories.  it’s like we were trying to buy ourselves out of trouble with completed chores and good behavior even if we had good reports…you know, just in case a bad report was on the way.  funny stuff.  (teehee)

imagine ME at parent/teacher conference…i’m a grown up y’all!!! (as she laughs at claiming adulthood for the first time in life)

the ’08 election time has been a riot.  we have our potential first oldest guy, our potential first brown guy and our potential first woman vp and then there’s joe the biden.  the neighbors came over and we whooped it up.  whoo whoo whooo whooo whoo.  i think it was just an excuse to make noise and experience the big event in a fun way.  kids were making lots of noise, eating junk and watching and waiting as this country realized a new something for our generation and the generations to follow us.  you notice that i said our generation?  we’re still young and  still have lots to contribute to society…ya know.

anyway, we did vote and it was kind of cool getting a chance to do it with myles in the booth with us.  he got a chance to help andre’ with his ballot and before he could help me, he was off to the potty. 

anyhoo, all of it was a blast to witness.  emotional. engaging. so on and so forth.  now the country will be going through election time withdrawal. cnn, fox, msnbc, cspan, abc, nbc, cbs will all be taking a pause in my house to allow time for the withdrawal process.

note:  excuse the mixed past and present tenses in this post.  i started writing this before election night and wrote some more of it after election night.  i’m sure you followed it fine…right? also, some of the following photos indicate that i need a new camera.  if i make that my one and only christmas wish item…maybe i’ll get a really good one with all the bells and whistles (hint to the family)

shots from the night…

me and myles after voting

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daddy and myles after voting (no, i don’t really call him daddy:)

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he voted for thomas the tank engine (teehee)

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checking the stats state by state

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a lady never tells 🙂 all you need to know is that i voted right?

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say it loud…i’m brown and i’m proud!!! (a la james brown) November 4, 2008

Posted by jonesgurl in brown boy pride, children, gotta love it, my baby. my boyl my joy, raising children.
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if you open your eyes and drop your guard long enough, you can get a better perspective on things, ya know. 

my five year old never ceases to amaze me.  i know that i talk about him lots, but, you really have to be around him a while and you too would say that he is worth the conversation:)

so, lately, he seems to be really proud of the fact that he’s brown.  proud, as if he just discovered that he is brown and is truly fascinated by this.  when he looks at television and sees other brown people like him he would proudly shout out, “they’re brown like me!” it was quite funny at first and surprising to hear him say it (as if he had never seen another brown person before).  anyhoo, i was very proud of him for embracing the beauty in being brown.  and for that, i can take no credit.

we took a bit of a vacation to texas and we visited friends that are family to him and us.  we were at a market and myles looked around and asked me, “mommy, do all brown people live in texas?”  though i didn’t notice, he certainly did.  i guess, where we live, he wasn’t used to being in the market surrounded by many of his fellow brown people.  this is the kind of stuff that i take for granted and have simply lived with difference.  i really didn’t think much about when the topic would come up, with him.

anyhoo, as election day approaches and i tell him how exciting it is to vote and i let him know that when he is 18 years old, he too, can vote.  i tell him that he will get to vote for whomever he wants.  he then asks me, “who are you going to vote for?”  as i try to adhere to what my mom told me “your ballot is all your own and you don’t have to tell anyone”, i explain to him that i’m going to keep my ballot a secret.  he then proudly informs me (even though he’s only five) “i’m going to vote for barack obama!”  surprised and interested in picking his brain, i ask him, “why are you going to vote for him, myles?” he says, “i’m going to vote for him because he’s brown like me.”  he then continued to play with his trains.  my silent response:  there goes that brown pride thing again.  i guess people really do relate more to people that look like them…tiny tots and all.

i realized a couple different things, i felt a little weird and almost inept that i did not purposely speak to him about what it means to be a proud little brown person.  but i’m not sure if that is something that any of us were taught.  perhaps it’s learned from one’s environment.  i’m not sure. but for some reason he has it.  he has pride and confidence.  although, there was one day (earlier in the school year) that he came home wondering about not being brown.  it was kind of a sad conversation because in his homework folder, there was a picture that he drew of two people.  one of the people had a sad face.  i asked him why the one person was sad and he responded as he pointed to the sad face person, “he doesn’t like to be different”.  that indeed, was a hard moment for me.  so i guess, through that conversation, maybe i instilled in him something that stayed within him.

it really just goes to show that it is innate that most people just want to relate to something that is familiar to them, that looks or reflects them.  don’t ya think? 

whenever he gets excited about something, i make sure that i explore, celebrate and make a big deal for him.  as is with this election season.  he somehow understands the shift, within people, that is happening in our country and he is passionate about it. 

out of the mouths of babes, you will hear some surprising and honest stuff.  over these past few months we’ve had the news on, nonstop.  yes, you can be attributed that to me, the news junkie.  anyhoo, he’s asking lots of questions and seemingly understanding most of the answers.

i can’t wait to see what this kid does in and for this world we live in. 

he’s proud to be brown and i’m proud of him.  he recently heard the term – african american, and he did not know what it meant.  so he asked me, “mommy am i an african brown boy?” my response…oh, what a beautiful little african brown baby you are!”

christmas-morning-08-001

cussing out loud in the city… November 1, 2008

Posted by jonesgurl in bright lights bit city, children, coffee, cussing, my ramblings..., raising children.
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i really enjoy going to the city to hang out.  strangely enough, i like the crowds, the noise, the energy, the arts, all the very “interesting” things that you may not otherwise see out in the burbs. i guess you can say that i’m a bright lights big city kind of girl. 

my little myles and i took a trip to the city on the train which is one of his favorite things to do.  well, we got lunch, chilled out on the train, had fun with an eye spy book and exited the train once we got to our destination.  after walking through the crowds and taking in some fresh air (relatively speaking), we were enjoying our train date and were looking forward to the coffee date part of this little trip.  we walked down the streets with crowds of people around us and with the flow of foot traffic headed in a hurry to a myriad of places.  as we crossed the busy city street, a taxi cab so rushed to probably go nowhere or racing the other taxi drivers for the next fare, comes barrelling out into the street where we were crossing.  then it happens, the mother bear instinct comes rising out of me without pause or hesitation.  freaked out by nearly getting hit by a taxi cab, i pulled my son close to me and yell out “hey, you flipping idiot!”  instead of putting up his hand to indicate that he felt a little bit bad for driving like a bat out of hell and like he got his license in some dark back alley from some shady character illegally selling licences for five bucks, he decides to flip me the bird.  imagine, he flipped me the bird.   once we were safely on the curb, i kind of chuckled at myself for the little exchange i was just involved in. (in hindsight, the whole thing was kind of funny, but then again i have weird humor).

myles and i continued walking down the street and i wondered how was i going to  explain mommy’s little cussing moment. 

myles:  mommy, why did you call that man a flipping idiot

me:  well, mommy got angry because that man almost hit us with his car and he wasn’t being careful.  i shouldn’t have called him a name.  myles, saying flipping idiot is not a nice thing even when you’re mad, so we won’t use those words…okay

myles: oh, okay

whew…thankfully flipping idiot is all that came out of my mouth.  so anyway, the rest of the our train date continued without a hitch.  we couldn’t get a drink fast enough…me, a venti decaf coffee with pumpkin flavoring and him, a steamed vanilla milk…aaahhh.

whew! 5th birthday mylestone…check July 23, 2008

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change, children, my baby. my boyl my joy, my ramblings..., raising children.
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this little sweet face boy is growing up very fast…gotta run so that i can get some qt time with him:)

we can check it off the list. my little boobear is five, his party is over and i can seriously try to get over the fact that life is moving full speed ahead. 

i did the carnival theme and it was really fun.  i don’t know howi don’t like to do kids only birthday parties because i relish in having bunches of friends and family around.  my son gets to know what it’s like to love family and to look forward to and cherish the time that he gets to be with them (family and friends that is) .  call me crazy cuz i know that i am, but i really like crazy fun parties with bunches of people.  growing up, parties with all of our extended family and such in attendance were usually more quiet affairs.  my husband likes quaint and cozy.  so, to my husband…your baby boy and i are sayying THANKS for indulging us and helping to make the carnival fun happen!!! 

we had a carnival theme, and i do declare that it was the most fun and easiest party to plan.  just rally a few friends to help with entertainment, round up the toys that all of us know we have too many of and bakebuy some cute cupcakes and colorful balloons and streamers and you’ve got yourself a partay! okay so a few more details are missing such as the concession people (popcorn and drinks). oh yeah, the people who kept me moving things along.  

after the party was over, the three of us (andre’, myles and i) cleaned and opened presents and videotaped myles talking about what he thought of his party.  the thing that he said made us both realize whether or not his grandnana could be here all the way from texas, he spoke the most meaningful message to her. please note, it was not the presents, it was not the sweet treats or all the fun he had but he spoke so sentimentally about his grandnana.

us: (camera lens aimed at myles)  myles, what  do you want to say about today, your party and stuff?

myles: umm, i just want to say that i’m sorry grandnana that you couldn’t be here. i wish that you could be here. i miss you so much and i want you to come to my house.  i wish you weren’t all the way in texas so that you could be here with me. i love you sooo much. bye. peace out.

us: (paused camera) looked at each other and had no words. 

andre: mouthed the words wow!

me: let’s call her.

because we as parents are with our kids day in and day out, i dont’ think we ever really realize the importance of having others (friends, aunts, uncles, g-mas, g-pas, surrogate family and special friends and such in the life of our children.  they remember people and how those special people make them feel no matter the amount of time they may get to see these people.  i will not forget that he loves his nana and he loves his grandnana very much and whether or not they are related biologically, they are definitely bonded by love.

so, anyway, we had a long day filled with fun and love.  i will defintiely consider doing the carnival thing again and i am grateful for the friends and family that were able to come and those that wish that they could have been there but were committed otherwise. lots of love

peace 2 ya

in need of prayer… May 22, 2008

Posted by jonesgurl in children, daddy, deep thoughts, help!, mommies, sad, steven curtis chapman.
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as we sometimes get wrapped up in our own little worlds, we open our eyes and realize stranger things than we can ever imagine are happening around us.  so, kiss your kids, hug your husband, forgive your neighbor, and know that there are just some things that we will never understand.  i’m in a reflective mood after thinking hard about big decisions for my life and then later opening up this and reading what would be unfathomable for any family.

pray for them. they will need your prayers for a while. his minsitry reaches worldwide and inspires people daily… they will need your prayers because he’s a daddy and she’s a mommy.

peace 2 you

toni

 

mommy’s day… May 12, 2008

Posted by jonesgurl in children, gotta love it, mother's day, my ramblings....
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i’m sure that moms all over the world are being celebrated in one way or another. from the sweet and simple to the ultra elaborate.  it can be a really fun day for those with little ones like my little boobear (one day he’ll get me for that name).  he wrote a song for me that included the words mommy, momma, i, love and hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm.  a new ipod favorite! (teehee)

if you’re reading this and you’re a mommy – HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO YOU!!! i will spend the rest of the evening hanging out with my little buddy and thinking about my little angel in heaven.

who could resist this face to chase away the blues

the end of a work day and the beginning of a play date with this guy!

bowchicawahwah… April 10, 2008

Posted by jonesgurl in bad mommy, bad movie, children, deep thoughts, good mommy, help!, oops, raising children.
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okay, so really i’m not trying to be vulgar or anything but OMG…i think i messed up big time and here’s how…

as i was in the kitchen fixing a peanut butter sandwich for my four year old (who so wants to be a big boy already), he comes into the kitchen and started singing “bowchicawahwah”.  so i had to think really fast and carefully about radio, public places, my language, dad’s language, friends and tv…because nowadays primetime has creeped into daytime (even the commercials), which is another topic to discuss about eliminating televison in our house.  anyhoo, moving along, i had to think quickly ancd carefully about where on earth did he hear that little ditty.  then i realized that he had been watching his new video which i thought was non-sensual, non-vulgar and completely innocent.  who would have thought that one of the things he actually remembered from an alvin and the chipmunks movie would be bowchicawahwah.  it’s a total cartoon family kinda movie that i thought was not that bad at all.  ooooppppssss!!!! am i that completely desensitized to words, their affect and how much kids catch on.  amongst all the dvds that he has i guess i need to go back and  do an eyes and ears wide open review of all the movies (which i thought i did). there was a scene that we fast forwarded in this movie, but i guess i have to go back to my over the top restrictions.  so much for letting down my guard.  all animation is not okay.  repeat with me “all animaiton is not okay”. this is a day that i am totally standing in judgement of myself for “how good of a mommy am i?”  ever have that kind of day that you think about whether or not you’re a good parent?

i am very curious about what people allow their children to watch? was alvin and the chipmunks a good mommy or bad mommy move????? i say it was a careless mommy move.  ugh! (must admit…it was funny though)

lemme know what you think!

c ya.

toni