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big lips and babies pt. 2… April 20, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change, baby news, he said what?, hmmmmm.
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okay, so i was preparing to head out to run errands, get the car fixed, pick up a few items, place online orders, and continue the long process of spring cleaning.  these are the things on my to do list.  as i was brushing my teeth before heading out the door i flipped the t.v. to the oprah show.  lo’ and behold it was octomom!  she’s back on t.v.  anyhoo, i was very interested in seeing what ‘ol nadya suleman is up to these days (i’ve nicknamed her big lips and babies ‘cuz, well, you know…she’s got plenty-o-lips  and plenty-o-babies). 

so i took a few minutes to watch the circus that is here life.  i don’t mean that in any way that is demeaning but she even says how crazy it is.  but, i admire the fact that she still has a bit of her sanity left.  oh my gosh, 14 kids from the age of 8 and under with 6 infant/toddlers in the mix.  insert:  head spin!!!!!!! she doesn’t have a partner/husband to take some of the stress and strain that comes with parenting and relying on for simple emotional support, which is sometimes a strain for women with a partner/husband or single moms with only a small amount of kids. i say God bless this poor woman and her brood to be okay and to come out on top. 

i must say that as she was speaking she sounded as if she has taken an introspective and retrospective look at things and knows that she went into this whole situation with thinking that was unrealistic.  she also seems to not be in denial about anything (anymore), but she does seem to be fully aware of the real needs of her family and the long road ahead of her.  i. just. can. not. fathom. the. amount. of. stress.  if i could i would send help to this little village. i’m not even kidding, really, i would.  right now i can’t so, for now, i send my prayers.  i was exhausted just watching the show.

speaking of more children…

as i await the soon to come due date of my new little one, i’m in a whirlwind of emotional highs and lows and brain cell loss and all else that comes with the final countdown.  though my head is still spinning from watching the show with the “little village” that is octomom’s house, i am excited to be adding to my crew too.  bringing new life into the world is beyond amazing and it really is the chance of a lifetime.  i have my myles, my amber (in heaven) and this sweet baby coming in a few weeks.  at one of my last doc appointments the doc that i’ve known for ten years says to me, “we have your c-section scheduled and i want to know if you have considered having a tubiligation?  i just sat there.  he turned around and looked at me to see if i was awake or if i had heard the question.  i was thinking to myself, the nerve of him asking me that question.  he went on to explain to me why he was asking and that if i wanted it done it would be a good idea to do it while he’s doing the c-section.  so, in essence, that would be a tremendous high and low all in the same day.  at least for me it would be. 

that was over a week ago that he asked me that question and i still cannot wrap my brain or emotions around it.  i said to him, “but that’s so…permanent” and he said to me in a very slow answer, “yes, that is the point of it.”  he went on to explain why he mentioned it and within his response he included my age.  ugh! whaddaya mean!!! i am still hot to trot.  “really, my body can still do this, i’ve only gained 12.5 pounds in all and i can still shuck and jive with the best of them” is what i really wanted to tell him (maybe i did say that, i don’t remember).  i am still in shock…how. dare. he. ask. me. that.  the. nerve.  i say that tongue in cheek  because i really do trust his opinions or suggestion.  he is a good doc and is leaving the decision up to me.  plus, if i left it up to him, he would be slicin’ and dicin’.

do i want more babies?  hmmmmmmm

the next time he asks me to confirm whether i am going to have the surgery or not…my answer, “if you touch my tubes you die!”  teehee. just kidding, kind of. 

i wonder if other women have had this much trouble deciding on whether or not to chop the tubes, burn the ends of them or whatever it is that they do while you’re under the knife.

speaking of my doc, he’s just concerned. speaking of me, i. am. freaked. out!!!!!! i. want. my. tubes!!!! i want them even if i don’t want more children.  do i want more children? i don’t know.  i wonder if men have the same trepidation when presented with the “opportunity” to have someone introduce a surgical knife to their woohoos? 

listen up doc, i am not the octomom, i don’t have the brood that i want yet.  back off my tube, man!

until next time,

c ya…hopefully with tubes in tow

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humanity… April 13, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in hmmmmm, i'm just sayin'.
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i’m down to five -four weeks to go.  i’m excited and nervous and excited.  did i say excited?  this could possibly be the last time i get to have this opportunity of a lifetime…being pregnant, that is.  anyhoo,  i’m going to make sure that i don’t take this time for granted.  i’m doing well and enjoying my expanding belly.  i enjoy the fact that i can still wear my 3 inches (heels, of course) this late in the game.  i’m up 15 pounds and down to 4-5 hours of sleep. 

now, about that sleep thing, i hear that pregnant women sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep.  whatever the percentage of pregnant women that would be…i have joined the ranks of them.  not happily, i might add.  i’ve been told that somehow this gets your body ready for when you have to stay up late nights or get up late nights with your brand spanking new baby.  ugh.  i don’t want my body to get prepared for this.  i would much rather be thrown right into after the baby’s birth day.  ya know!

anyhoo, as i am up late nights, i sit there and make lists of things that i have to do but never really get to complete.  i would use the time to clean, but it would require that i stand up from my lazy comfortable spot in the bed or the ahem, more comfortable sofa.  so, instead of doing something more ummmm, constructive, i watch pbs, the news, or the andy griffith show.  (what did you say?  interesting choice of shows..i know, right. but, when you have limited t.v. channels, i mean antennae service only then your options are not that grand.  teehee)  anyhoo, it probably doesn’t matter because i am a big fan of the programs on pbs anyway.

so, i was up late, bright-eyed and busy-tailed and so excited to be half asleep yet wide awake.  anyhoo, i flipped the t.v. channel to pbs and tuned right to the movie “the diary of anne frank”.  wow, is all i have to say.  we all love a happy hollywood ending, but we know that this is not how this particular  story ends.  i am compelled to go back and read the book again.  what strikes me is the loss of so much of a people’s history.  loss of life.  loss of what could be.  loss of what could have been.  no matter how much i wanted to ignore the end of the story, no matter how much i know the end of the story…i still gasped as i read the names and faces of each person and the date of their demise.  it reminded me of the stories of those who didn’t make it through the ill-fated times of slavery.  it really made me wonder about humanity.  humankind.  human beings. 

i still don’t understand war, though, i do admire and pray for the strength of those patriotic enough to defend the freedoms of this country.  i don’t understand hatred, yet, i have to forgive those who hate and act and speak out of hatred. it makes me a little sad that even still today, some people have to hide or feel self-conscious or wish to be something other than who they as they exist in their environment.  my son is only six years old and he already recognizes the vast difference between him and most of the enviroment in which he lives.  he has also experienced what it is like to be treated a little bit different from others around him.  it’s my job to help him navigate his way through the world in which we live…he lives.  it’s also my job to show him how to not to join the ranks of those who treat others in an in humane way.  generally speaking, i’ve learned how to contain myself quite a bit as i see and/or experience injustice.  i don’t understand much of injustice…if any at all.  but, i hope that we can act, live and be more humane to each other and more tolerable of our differences than we are ugly and cruel to each other… simply because sometimes we think we are better than the next man/woman…human.

…all this came to mind at 3:30 am after watching pbs.  ugh…i’ve gotta get more sleep.

until next time

c ya

true colors… April 6, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change, hmmmmm, life, my ramblings..., open minded.
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okay, so i recently participated in something that was not by any stretch a chore for me.  it was something that i enjoy doing and comes second nature to me.  i went into this, well, let’s just call it a little venture.  if i had known what the end result was going to be i would really call it a test of who i’ve grown to be. 

i went into the “venture” with no expectations and i laid pretty low about what i knew and any experience that i possessed (not that it’s impressive at all).  anyhoo, i noticed something that was quite surprising and petty.  whispers and odd questions.  you know, the who are you and where did you come from and from where did you suddenly appear kind of questions.  i got a bit of the you don’t belong in our club kind of behavior.  i must admit, it was a bit irritating at first, but i quickly rethought my response and decided to play it laid back and cool.  this is not always the case especially because snippy, snotty and judgemental and rigid thinking people…spells U-G-L-Y.  but, there is something that i realized about people that act the way they do with that kind of behavior.  they are threatened or insecure in some way and not by me, but anything they threatens their closed minded comfort level.  it may have absolutely nothing to do with me or others that they are being ugly to, but everything to do with personal issues of their own.  insecurity can make people behave in some ridiculous ways sometimes.   *that’s a whole other blog post for another day*

but, back to the story.  so, i continued to participate in this project and i encountered some nice and simply friendly and welcoming people.  then there were the others.  they happened to notice that i caught them being U-G-L-Y.  i said nothing and remained cordial to them.  they realized they were busted and tried to play friendly.  i smiled and kept a distant friendly demeanor.  quite an improvement from what i wanted to say or do which would have been cold shoulder and put them in their place.  i can be pretty good at the latter of these two scenarios, but i’ve chosen to reign in the ‘tude a whole lot more. 

as time moved on, i stayed involved with this venture even though i really seriously wanted to be elsewhere.  so, on the very last day of this venture i was saying goodbye to some of the people and one of the U-G-L-Y people happened to be standing right there and heard our conversation.  they also heard some information that surprised them a bit.  that person stood there with their mouth gaped open and surprised…wondering why i hadn’t said anything to prove my worth before now.  hmmmmm, prove my worth? 

for me, the whole experience was a humbling one.  but what was even more humbling was being able to walk through a situation not having to prove myself when i really did have it to prove.  you see, i’ve lived a lifetime of trying to prove myself to people.  i did it to such a point that i was always on the defense to defend who i  my good will.  it was crazy.  just plain ol’ crazy i tell ya. 

the thing about life now is that i couldn’t care less what someone believes or thinks of me or what they may judge me to be or not be.  the thing about trying to prove yourself to people is that you never will.  what you end up doing is proving that you’ve given weight to their opinion and words and judgement.  my response now to what others think (most times) is “so what, who cares” and i try to prove nothing to them and just simply be who i know that i am and who i was created to be. 

so, to the end of this whole venture thingy i was involved in – i somewhat dreaded it at times because of some U-G-L-I-N-E-S-S, however, i chose not to assert my right to be just as ugly and to hang in there for the good of the what i was doing.  looking back on it, some people are petty and what i’ve noticed is that petty is soooo third grade, ya know? 

to the point of showing your true colors…

never let others drag you into their ugliness and drive you to begin to act out of character.  show your own true colors and never let your good character be tainted by judgement, lies, injustice or otherwise.  trust that it will always work out in the end…even if it doesn’t seem like it.  trust me, i’ve been there and done that…many times!

until next time,

c ya

third world teeth? hmmmm… March 23, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in he said what?, hmmmmm, my boy.
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okay, so, i was talking with myles about this organization called Feed My Starving Children.  i was explaining to him that his dad went in my place to help pack meals at a volunteer event.

myles:  what are they packing meals for?

me:  (explained what the org. does and who they help. i mentioned that they help people in third world or under-developed countries and poor people in need of food assistance)

myles:  what is under-developed, again?

me:  (explained the difference between america and other parts of the world.  gave him some specific differences)

myles:  i know someone who’s third world.

me:  really, who?

myles:  mrs. _________ (i leave the name blank so as not to, ahem, embarrass this person who happens to live on our street)

me:  do you mean mrs. __________, who is __________ mommy?

myles:  yes, her.  really she is third world.  you should see her teeth, ugh.  (trying to convince me to take a good look next time i see her)

me:  because her teeth look like that does not mean that she is third world, it just means that she may have to go to the dentist to get her teeth fixed. (totally not knowing what else to say)

myles:  maybe.  but, she really is poor.  (as he begins to describe this person’s mouth…in graphic details)

me:  just because someone doesn’t do a good job with taking care of their teeth doesn’t mean that they are poor.  sometimes they may look like that because they have to get better at taking care of their body and their teeth.

myles: (continued on with what he was doing as if he hadn’t said anything)

what was really interesting about this conversation is that he was kind of right.  a lot of times when i see these really sad heart gripping commercials showing down trodden people in need of help, i never thought to expect for them to look like they had no access to dental care.  strangely enough, their teeth tend to look better than some of us here in america with full access to tooth brushes, tooth paste, and for the most part a dentist, or hygienist or something.  hmph, what does that say about us and how we take for granted some of the simplest things that we have access to that others can’t even fathom having?  i won’t rant here, but, we’ve got to do better.

funny thing is, the person myles was speaking of  makes a pretty good living and has access to decent health and dental insurance!  so, why the yuck mouth?  i dunnno.  but, it is kind of a shame if we have it but don’t use it.  toothbrush, that is. toothpaste, that is. dentist, that is.

the lesson:  if you don’t want to look third world, perhaps you should smile pretty int he mirror and take care of that situation in your mouth.  if you don’t want to get embarrassed by little kids who all seem to sometimes speak what grown ups won’t say aloud, be sure to brush, rinse and visit the dentist every six months!

just an f.y.i. – i think my teeth look decent and i brush and floss quite regularly, at least two times a day.  BUT, just because my teeth don’t look like brand new shiny white pearls…myles had the nerve to comment on the fact that they’re “kinda not so shiny like his because his teeth are new because he’s young.”  what?!?!  the nerve of that kid.  i’m definitely no yuck mouth!!! though, i must admit, he does have a nice white set of pearly whites in his mouth.  all that reminding and helping with the floss/brush process has helped.  (insert pat on the back to his parents:)).  but don’t tell him i said that because i think it just might go to his head a bit more than it already has.  smile

give me back that filet-o-fish… February 24, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in baby news, hmmmmm.
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so, it really is true that while pregnant, you do get some cravings – weird or otherwise.  at least once a week i have a day that i crave gross, greasy, sugar filled, syrupy, fast food or something other weirdly. today was that day.  as i was sitting watching t.v., the crazy mcdonald’s commercial came on about the filet-o-fish.  i promise you that i am so not into fake unrecognizable food items, at least not since i left elementary school where we were served mock chicken legs with tan gravy.  but this was crazy catchy and i was craving wierd enough to get me interested…

 but, i must say that this filet-o-fish got my taste buds going.  i actually wanted a filet-o-fish from mcdonald’s along with a large coke with lots of ice.  yummmmmmmmm.  can you sing give me back that filet-o-fish with me.  i’m hooked, on the commercial that is.  i have yet to drive up to mickey d’s to “gimme that fish”.  can you say the power of marketing.  i’ve been sucked in like all the other folks. 

i have 12 weeks to go before i can dive into a large coke with lots of ice.  yummmmmmm.  but, i may have to hold off on that filet-o-fish, mainly because i don’t know what it is, yet.  you know, sord of like the mock chicken leg with tan gravy. the more i talk about the fish, the more i want it, whether that’s a good thing or not…i dunno.

you shouldn’t smoke weed…it’s full of rat poison! February 1, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in brown boy pride, children, cigarettes and other drugs, gotta love it, hmmmmm, my baby. my boyl my joy.
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okay, so i almost could not contain myself as i hid my face behind a small chapter book of my six year old myles.  the title of the book – horrible harry and the green slime…rated G. really, it is…i checked.

after reading the book i quizzed myles on each chapter.  i asked him to run through the chapters with me and explain what went on.  as we came upon one of the chapters entitled “deadly skits” he began to explain to me the details of this chapter.  basically this particular chapter was about how the principal of the school wanted the children to make a presentation about how cigarettes are not good for you.  one of the groups in the class decided that they were going to do a skit on how cigarettes can kill you.  as he (myles) first started explaining the chapter, he said that the kids were going to do a skit on smoking weed.  ummmm, silence. pause. huh? so i said, “what do you mean smoking weed and what is weed anyway.  by the way, we’ve already had the d.a.r.e talk, drugs are bad for you, the prescription drugs and the street drugs conversation with him.  anyhoo, he said that the picture in the book (which was a picture of a cigarette) was a picture of weed.  mind you i was still wondering why he was using the street name of weed and not marijuana or something else.  so, he went on this little rant about how people shouldn’t smoke weed because it’s bad for you and you could die.  “plus”, he said, “it has rat poison it.”  then he added, “our neighbors smoke weed and they are sick.”  “they are going to be really sick and they have rat poison in their body.” 

as i listened while hiding behind this book of his trying not to laugh out loud, i had to peer over the book to see his expression as he had his his teeny tiny “soap box” moment.  we picked his brain a bit to see if he was clear on cigarettes and “weed”.  according to him, if you’re smoking, you’re smoking “weed”. any smoking is smoking “weed”.  though we tried to explain to him that there is a difference between cigarettes and “weed” he said, “okay”, and continued with his conversation. 

this was a conversation that i never thought i’d have, at least not this early in his very very young life.   imagine, a six year old who reads way too well, thinks that he knows way too much, interprets the world through the eyes of a sheltered six year old and acts like an old soul.  he has advanced in his verbiage a bit –  he use to say that people that were smoking were “cigretting”.  you know, like dancing, singing, laughing…cigretting.  he didn’t know that it was called smoking.  i once felt that he still had a tad bit of his innocence and ignorance to the world when he asked me about the neighbor cigretting.  i breathed a little sigh of relief knowing that he wasn’t quite sure what “smoking” was…or so i though.  sigh.  sigh.  exasperated sigh.  that thought no longer holds true. big “what the heck” sigh.

i would blame his knowledge of cigarettes filled with  rat poison and “weed” being bad for you on the day we let the t.v. play more than pbs.  but that reasoning will hardly work.  or will it? 

one day he saw a public service announcement about a girl home alone being questioned about smoking weed.  it was not even time for prime time shows or prime time commercials and this was on t.v.  i could not turn the t.v. fast enough before he was already repeating the words…”why is lindsey smoking weed?” ummmm, huh? what?!!! ummm, how did i answer? i don’t remember but i’m sure i’ve never had to think so fast on my feet…ever! 

and then, he saw the scare tactic t.r.u.t.h. commercials that try to give hard core evidence to people who smoke, how horrific cigarettes and “cigretting” is.  yet again, he soaked it in like a sponge. 

i have a kid who can repeat a song after hearing it one time, reads big words that i sometimes wished he didn’t know yet, soaks everything in and gives his six year old boy version of a passionate speech or plea or his version of how the world works.  so, what makes me think that he wouldn’t be giving people the “what for” about how they should not “cigrette” or smoke “weed”.  i’m almost afraid of what he’s going to say to the neighbors the next time he sees them smoking.  because he’s not shy and is way too comfy standing on his on in speaking with adults, he will probably let them know that the “weed” things they’re smoking are full of rat poison (important note:  my neighbors do not smoke “weed” they smoke cigarettes.  so, no…my neighbors are not pot smokers.  although, they might have a case of black lung:().  i tell you one thing, this little speech of his would definitely be more embarrassing for them, especally because he talks a wee bit loud sometimes.  as i’ve learned am learning to reign my soap box moments in a bit more, he too will learn how to do this as well one day.  anyhoo, at least he hates people “cigretting” as much as i do. 

sigh of relief…no real book report required!

in the mean time, i urge all of you to not go out “cigretting on your weed sticks”

until next time

toni

bravery… January 27, 2010

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i heard something the other day that i’ve often thought quite the opposite of.  what i heard someone say was, “if i were brave at the time, i would have just cried.”  hmmmm, that’s a thought for ya.  many times and on many occasions, i have exercised my right to assert myself and let you have it.  i was more than willing to let you know how i was feeling and how incensed i may have been at what was done or said.  what i realize more and more is that it is more brave (at times) to pull back.  easy…no!  better at times…yes!

i could think of a few times (okay, more than a few) that i could have been brave enough to show vulnerability versus the girl who takes no shtuff.  i’m pretty sure that  can do both…now.  i’m a softy with a tough exterior.  i could name a plethora of reasons as to why and how that came to be.  BUT, i’m more interested in being braver and wiser.  that will mean making the best decision for me and my family and giving less energy to what someone else thinks i should do. 

i encourage you to be wise in making decisions that would be best for health, wealth and well being of yourself and your family.  be brave enough to be vulnerable when necessary and strong as God gives you strength.  be brave as sometimes you may find yourself standing alone and against all odds, but don’t let that scare you into submission of doing what’s less than your best. 

“if i am brave, i will be a little more vulnerable”  (and i add to that…”that does not make me weak”)  this, my friends,  is worth trying !

c ya

toni

i’m just saying… January 11, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change, hmmmmm.
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so, all kinds of statements are coming out about what has been said behind closed doors and boldly enough, some statements made in public interviews.  i’ve always had a curiosity as to what is a good response for people who you like and people who supposedly like you, when they say something very off-handed about one as a person of color.

recently, we’ve heard a few statements from “friends” of president obama.  funny thing is, when speaking of the current pres.  those making statements refer to him as “this guy.”  i guess that would be much better than some other socially unacceptable term, i guess.  anyhoo, bill clinton has been quoted as saying, “a few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee”, harry reid has been quoted as commenting on why the pres. was/is a good candidate for pres., “light skinned” with “no negro dialect” – except, of course  when he wants it.  and of course there’s the hair rod blagojevich, who says,  “I’m blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived,” Blagojevich said. “I saw it all growing up.” 

one can read into any of what has been said and choose to be offended. is it worth it?  it’s all distractions and has the potential to keep one from being focused on what really matters.  what i have learned to do is let actions speak for who i am.  i’ve heard all types of dumb head statements in my day.  my response is much different from what it once was and those crazy  statements, comments, opinions, etc.,  just seem so laughable at times.

re:  dialect (harry reid) – whether one has a dialect of sorts or not, it has no bearing on whether the person is capable and intelligent

re:  this guys getting coffee (bill clinton) – well, quite a few years back, fetching coffee would have been one of the few options, BUT NOT ANYMORE!!! thank God, we’ve come a long way baby! because of our progression (tongue in cheek) we can choose to be someone who pours coffee or leader of the free world.  the choices we have are endless…unlike way way way way way back in the day

re:  the hair rod blagojevich’s comment – well, let’s see, i did not know that shining shoes, living in a small apartment, having a business in a black community and “having seen it all” constitutes being black.  i’ve been a brown person all my life and those factors that the hair  rod was talking about are such old stereotypes that he sounds as stupid as his hair looks.  no one, brown person or otherwise,  is ever synonymous with where they come from. or even their socioeconomic status or even their occupation.  so, as i go into my closet and shine my 3 inch stilettos while i munch on a chicken sandwich and satisfy my craving of watermelon, i will remember that in this lifetime of mine, i will “see it all” and hear it all and it won’t mean a hill of pinto beans and corn bread to me.  (yes, i laugh as i say this but i really really am craving watermelon. really)

re:  being offended – no need to be!  choose not to be!  really, there is no need to get all up in arms because it certainly can’t change the value of one as a human being.  i’m just sayin…

now i’m pretty sure that lots of other politicians, friends of the pres., friends of mine, and heck, maybe even friends of yours, may have said some off-handed things as we’ve come through this really really hot political season.  in fact, i’m surprised at quite a few things i’ve heard come out of some folks mouths, however, sometimes, stupid is as stupid says. we have all said some really stupid stuff and after it has flowed from our lips, we wish we could take back.  i’m just saying

God almighty and the easter egg hunt… April 12, 2009

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myles (five year old):  when we get home, we can have an egg hunt with all my friends?  we can talk about the Lord and everybody can get eggs. 

me:  that sounds like fun.  what are you going to tell them about the Lord?

myles:  i don’t know.  he started easter right?  i don’t know what else to tell him about the Lord, we can just talk.  you said we don’t just do eggs and all that.

me:  (explaining with more details, again.  also, surprised that he is unfazed by our family’s omission of the easter bunny and remembering how he walked right by groups of people waiting to take a picture with a “bunny ” and he kept walking as if a six foot five fluffy white stuffed animal was nothing to give a double take)

myles:  oh yeah, if they don’t want to hear about the Lord they can just go and sit in the sun and just play or something.

babies and big lips… March 11, 2009

Posted by jonesgurl in children, hmmmmm, mommies, my ramblings....
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it seems that everyone has an opinion, a thought, an axe to grind, a stone to throw and so on a so forth.  i must say that i’m not quite sure what to say about that situation.  that octomom situation, that is.  she is in a very tough and overwhelming position right now.  did she bring it upon herself?  could she have let someone else have the babies? could/should she have taken a pass on the oversized lip surgery?  who knows.

i guess i could look at all that she’s done as it relates to her ever increasing family and how she should have done this and that differently. if i expressed my opinion, would it be me casting judgement.  but i do believe that there is probably a whole lot more to the story than any of us know.  though, we do know enough to be floored by it all.  or do we?

is it any of our business?  as concerned citizens, we have a right to remain nosey, right?  if she didn’t want us all to be concerned, why is she offering interviews with every form of media possible?  if it’s helping her to raise the funds that she needs to take care of her situation…do we say – go for it?

now that the babies are here, the attention would be best given to the eight new little precious babies as well as the other six children.  will they go home to an already overwhelmed mom?  will she adopt them out to some other parents who are in a position to emotionally, mentally and physically care for them.  heck, how do we not know that with lots and lots of help and a different/bigger place to live, if she can actually do it or not? it just might be possible.  is it fair to the children and whose call is it to make?

 i was speaking with a mother of my son’s classmate the other day and she said that her mom is one of 18 children.  all natural born to the same mother and father.  however, it didn’t sound so odd to me because in the days of our grandparents and even in the days of some of our parents, largeover-sized families were not an extremely odd thing, from what i hear.

my mother had eight siblings.  i never really thought much of it.  i’m assuming that at times it must have been overwhelming for people with very expanded families.  according to all stories told, they did whatever was needed to care for their family.  as far as i can tell, they all came out okay…in a matter of speaking.  i don’t think i ever heard my aunts, uncles or my mom speak of their childhood being jam packed with too many kids.  they seemed to all have experienced parental love, care and if they moved quick enough, they all got a good meal.  but, is that all that there is?  how fulfilling could a life like that be and who gets neglected, misses out on new clothes/shoes or good hand me downs, cultural experiences, one-on-one time, individualized care for disabilities and so on and so forth?  looking at all of this, i think she has a right to be overwhelmed.  and i assume that she is doing some major self evaluation at this point.  she has probably said over and over to herself, “what the!!!”

i am raising one little one and when times are tight as they are with our current layoff situation, i truly get concerned about whether we will be able to provide a well rounded and fulfilling life for him.  thankfully i can be and am thrifty and creative…thanks mom. 

i pray that she gets the resources and helping hands that are needed for her brood.  the babies are here, the deed has been done and she is now freaking out.  if you could, what would you offer to her? ( even if you are angry with her decisions)

so what’s with all of the sensationalism?  i guess the other day, she said she is overwhelmed and is concerned because some of the babies could possibly be comng home soon.  what to do? what to do? 

octomom has some tough decisions to make.  if one of those decisions is whether or not she has to adopt out her children because she has no money, not enough help and no wherewithal to have a healthy family with the new eight additions…that would be the most extreme choice i would ever even imagine she would have to make.  imagine her dilema!

there are consequences on either side.  she would probably be emotional wrecked if they had to go home with someone else.  but then again, she would probably be overwhelmed and without proper resources if they came home with her. 

how many of us would actually be able to make the best decision without thinking that we are not making the best decision? 

here’s the deal.  how christ deals with us is not by looking at our sins as a way to punish us.  though there are natural consequences, there is also grace and mercy from the one who came to redeem us.  he is our counselor, comforter, keeper, redeemer and friend.  so, he definitely would not keep talking to us about how we should have or could have or must have or even how stupid we are.  trust me, he knows how faulty and flawed we are.   but he also promises that upon seeking his forgiveness, upon seeking his wisdom, we can know a different life.  all of us will experience some of life’s drama, but, christ can lead us to wiser decision making…if we seek and ask.

in retrospect, she has said – she probably would have thought twice about being implantedwith more embryos. to live as if she alone was invincible and able  to care for 6 or even 7 children (let alone 14) without a father in the picture and without giving second thought to circumstances was fantasy to say the least.

so the focus should definitely be on what now.  yes, there are some things that will be investigated and laws that may change, or legal regulations put into place and so on and so forth, all based on this whole situation.  i guess, all things happen for a reason.

in the meantime, moving forward.  the focus should be on the six, plus the eight, plus the three adults (2 overwhelmed grandparents with a house in foreclosure status and a harried mom who obviously is in need of many things…).  how to care for them, who will care for them and how to move toward making this situation – a life that god can redeem. should this be the focus now?

this is why i’m hot February 9, 2009

Posted by jonesgurl in 1, all about me, hmmmmm, life, me.
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i know for sure that i am waaaaay too young for menopause.  no kidding, i am.  but i promise you that i have experienced several hot flashes.  at first i thought that it was because i had gone for a good run and i was experiencing afterburn (you know, how your body still burns off calories after the run is over…supposedly).  well, i had a moment (or two or three) of over-heating and sweating when i had not even gone for a run.  that was disturbing to say the least. 

aaaaagggghhhh!!! things are happening to my body that i can’t quite explain.  WHAT THE HECK! if i start getting wrinkles and gray hair – measures will be taken.  i only need one issue at a time.  no need for things to be dropping down to my waist.  no need for divets to start forming on my body.  no need for hair to start growing in places it need not be.  no need for creases to start forming.  no need for such intense hot flashes that all of your make-up sweats off. no need for fluctuating mood swings.  not all of this has happened yet, but really there is no need.  THERE’S NO NEED FOR ANY OF THIS.  I AM WAAAAYYY TOO YOUNG!!!

this is my stop the madness campaign.  DEAR GOD, CAN YOU HEAR ME? MENOPAUSE MUST BE STOPPED…PLEASE!

yep, i can really appreciate that… January 19, 2009

Posted by jonesgurl in 1, growth, hmmmmm, life, what the heck.
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just some curious thoughts of mine before i celebrate tomorrow.

perhaps i’m a little confused, but what is the issue with a few folks i know and then some that i don’t know all of a sudden living in fear of their life and thinking that it’s the end times because barack obama will be in the white house.  thank god i don’t pledge allegiance to one party or the other.  i’ve heard and seen some pretty disappointing stuff come out of people simply to uphold their ‘party’s” views. 

i’m not sure what to think, but, a surprising amount of my christian ummmmm, friends, are spewing hate because of this.  i have been surprised by stuff before, but what i’ve been witness to has been, ummmm, it has been ummmmm…crappy, to say the least.  i must admit that i was a bit heated by it, at first.  now, i think i have an idea of why there had to be an “i have a dream”.    

regarding obama, i don’t agree with everything, every policy, every decision nor do i agree with every action.  but, i can certainly appreciate a change.  and it’s not simply because he is our first brown president.  this is historical, exciting and i and my family can truly appreciate some pretty significant meaning in all of this. you’ve gotta be a pretty closed off person to not have just a a bit of hope for a bit of movement within this country.  oh well. 

i can appreciate celebrating how far this country has come…thus far.  and yes, we can stand to go quite a bit further. 

i use to almost feel self conscious of speaking on this topic at all.  i was a little self-conscious of how someone would interpret my words. now i don’t care mind. teehee.  it was almost like i should be ashamed of simply expressing my view point.  but, i have come to realize that i can express my views and not be angry.  i can agree or disagree and still be okay with another person.  i have just sat back and realized that if you let people talk long enough they will reveal a few things about themselves and their thoughts.  and no, you won’t ever really need to qualify the junk they say with a response (sometimes most times).

i can appreciate people of all races cheering on a man whose heritage use to be considered three-fifths a person.  true history.

i can appreciate how history is changing. not because of color. i think that it’s changing because of love.

i can appreciate my little five year old who can get along in any environment and happy to be with you just because you’re a person.

i can appreciate my little five year old who is very proud to be brown and very excited when he sees one on the television or comes into contact with another brown face.  he doesn’t see many that often, but he certainly gets happy and proud when he does. 

i appreciate renewed energy, passion. let’s pray that truth and love and honesty and humanity and righteousness and equality and balance and restoration and such happens over these next four years and beyond. 

i can appreciate that each president has brought something to the table.  some have brought a little bit under the table while bringing something to the table.  🙂

i can appreciate that i can’t do the job and  won’t act like the world is coming to an end because i don’t agree.

i can appreciate that God is the one in charge and we can live how he wants for us to.

i can appreciate living in faith and not fear.

i can appreciate living in a country where there is freedom.

i can appreciate more change and growth happening for this country.

i can appreciate understanding  or enlightenment.

i can appreciate living to love.

i can appreciate forgiving and moving on.

i can appreciate growth.

i can appreciate life in a whole new way.  not because of the election but because of my life’s experiences…it’s a must that i appreciate the experiences of life (doesn’t mean i have to always like it though). smile