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humanity… April 13, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in hmmmmm, i'm just sayin'.
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i’m down to five -four weeks to go.  i’m excited and nervous and excited.  did i say excited?  this could possibly be the last time i get to have this opportunity of a lifetime…being pregnant, that is.  anyhoo,  i’m going to make sure that i don’t take this time for granted.  i’m doing well and enjoying my expanding belly.  i enjoy the fact that i can still wear my 3 inches (heels, of course) this late in the game.  i’m up 15 pounds and down to 4-5 hours of sleep. 

now, about that sleep thing, i hear that pregnant women sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep.  whatever the percentage of pregnant women that would be…i have joined the ranks of them.  not happily, i might add.  i’ve been told that somehow this gets your body ready for when you have to stay up late nights or get up late nights with your brand spanking new baby.  ugh.  i don’t want my body to get prepared for this.  i would much rather be thrown right into after the baby’s birth day.  ya know!

anyhoo, as i am up late nights, i sit there and make lists of things that i have to do but never really get to complete.  i would use the time to clean, but it would require that i stand up from my lazy comfortable spot in the bed or the ahem, more comfortable sofa.  so, instead of doing something more ummmm, constructive, i watch pbs, the news, or the andy griffith show.  (what did you say?  interesting choice of shows..i know, right. but, when you have limited t.v. channels, i mean antennae service only then your options are not that grand.  teehee)  anyhoo, it probably doesn’t matter because i am a big fan of the programs on pbs anyway.

so, i was up late, bright-eyed and busy-tailed and so excited to be half asleep yet wide awake.  anyhoo, i flipped the t.v. channel to pbs and tuned right to the movie “the diary of anne frank”.  wow, is all i have to say.  we all love a happy hollywood ending, but we know that this is not how this particular  story ends.  i am compelled to go back and read the book again.  what strikes me is the loss of so much of a people’s history.  loss of life.  loss of what could be.  loss of what could have been.  no matter how much i wanted to ignore the end of the story, no matter how much i know the end of the story…i still gasped as i read the names and faces of each person and the date of their demise.  it reminded me of the stories of those who didn’t make it through the ill-fated times of slavery.  it really made me wonder about humanity.  humankind.  human beings. 

i still don’t understand war, though, i do admire and pray for the strength of those patriotic enough to defend the freedoms of this country.  i don’t understand hatred, yet, i have to forgive those who hate and act and speak out of hatred. it makes me a little sad that even still today, some people have to hide or feel self-conscious or wish to be something other than who they as they exist in their environment.  my son is only six years old and he already recognizes the vast difference between him and most of the enviroment in which he lives.  he has also experienced what it is like to be treated a little bit different from others around him.  it’s my job to help him navigate his way through the world in which we live…he lives.  it’s also my job to show him how to not to join the ranks of those who treat others in an in humane way.  generally speaking, i’ve learned how to contain myself quite a bit as i see and/or experience injustice.  i don’t understand much of injustice…if any at all.  but, i hope that we can act, live and be more humane to each other and more tolerable of our differences than we are ugly and cruel to each other… simply because sometimes we think we are better than the next man/woman…human.

…all this came to mind at 3:30 am after watching pbs.  ugh…i’ve gotta get more sleep.

until next time

c ya

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yo, donkey butt, i love you anyway! January 27, 2009

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change, growth, i'm just sayin', life.
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did you know that you can love a jack a–?  i knew that, but it is really hard to love someone who you think is a complete and utter jack a–.

who the heck am i?  i’m the person that calls you a donkey butt under my breath while i pray that God really helps me to show you grace.  that sounds really jacked up huh?  i know it does but i am flawed and trying to get it right. so bear with me here.

i’m working really hard to show grace, know grace and take in the total experience of grace, these days.  if you don’t know what i’m talking about, just spend a whole day showing grace to people without getting bent out of shape whether it be in traffic, at the grocery store, in the walmart or target or in the ten items or less line while the person in front of you has 25 items and you have only two items and you’re running late.   oooooh ooooooh, here’s a good one, how about spending lots of time in heavy traffic, you get cut off and the other driver gives YOU the finger while nearly wrecking your ride.  don’t you just feel like returning the finger hand of grace to them?  normally i don’t feel all that compelled to be grace filled or merciful.  then one day i realized that things were just starting to really bug me and  i found myself to be  such an irritated person…a lot. by the way, i only shared the more tame of donkey butt moves that bug me.

so the tough realizations that i came to were that 1) i am not perfect… (what?) 2) other people were not worth the creases in my face…cuz seriously, i don’t want wrinkles (i’m too cute for that) 3) i was starting to always sweat the small stuff…ugh

so, here’s the deal folks, 1) drop your expectation for people to act/be the way you want for them to be.  2) you never know what someone is going through that makes them react the way that they may be reacting 3) chill out, life is too short for the stress….just let it go 4) guess what, one day you may be the donkey butt that will need the grace…so give it if you want to get it!

just doing a little self eval, looking to improve my quality of life.  until next time…c ya!!!