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true colors… April 6, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change, hmmmmm, life, my ramblings..., open minded.
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okay, so i recently participated in something that was not by any stretch a chore for me.  it was something that i enjoy doing and comes second nature to me.  i went into this, well, let’s just call it a little venture.  if i had known what the end result was going to be i would really call it a test of who i’ve grown to be. 

i went into the “venture” with no expectations and i laid pretty low about what i knew and any experience that i possessed (not that it’s impressive at all).  anyhoo, i noticed something that was quite surprising and petty.  whispers and odd questions.  you know, the who are you and where did you come from and from where did you suddenly appear kind of questions.  i got a bit of the you don’t belong in our club kind of behavior.  i must admit, it was a bit irritating at first, but i quickly rethought my response and decided to play it laid back and cool.  this is not always the case especially because snippy, snotty and judgemental and rigid thinking people…spells U-G-L-Y.  but, there is something that i realized about people that act the way they do with that kind of behavior.  they are threatened or insecure in some way and not by me, but anything they threatens their closed minded comfort level.  it may have absolutely nothing to do with me or others that they are being ugly to, but everything to do with personal issues of their own.  insecurity can make people behave in some ridiculous ways sometimes.   *that’s a whole other blog post for another day*

but, back to the story.  so, i continued to participate in this project and i encountered some nice and simply friendly and welcoming people.  then there were the others.  they happened to notice that i caught them being U-G-L-Y.  i said nothing and remained cordial to them.  they realized they were busted and tried to play friendly.  i smiled and kept a distant friendly demeanor.  quite an improvement from what i wanted to say or do which would have been cold shoulder and put them in their place.  i can be pretty good at the latter of these two scenarios, but i’ve chosen to reign in the ‘tude a whole lot more. 

as time moved on, i stayed involved with this venture even though i really seriously wanted to be elsewhere.  so, on the very last day of this venture i was saying goodbye to some of the people and one of the U-G-L-Y people happened to be standing right there and heard our conversation.  they also heard some information that surprised them a bit.  that person stood there with their mouth gaped open and surprised…wondering why i hadn’t said anything to prove my worth before now.  hmmmmm, prove my worth? 

for me, the whole experience was a humbling one.  but what was even more humbling was being able to walk through a situation not having to prove myself when i really did have it to prove.  you see, i’ve lived a lifetime of trying to prove myself to people.  i did it to such a point that i was always on the defense to defend who i  my good will.  it was crazy.  just plain ol’ crazy i tell ya. 

the thing about life now is that i couldn’t care less what someone believes or thinks of me or what they may judge me to be or not be.  the thing about trying to prove yourself to people is that you never will.  what you end up doing is proving that you’ve given weight to their opinion and words and judgement.  my response now to what others think (most times) is “so what, who cares” and i try to prove nothing to them and just simply be who i know that i am and who i was created to be. 

so, to the end of this whole venture thingy i was involved in – i somewhat dreaded it at times because of some U-G-L-I-N-E-S-S, however, i chose not to assert my right to be just as ugly and to hang in there for the good of the what i was doing.  looking back on it, some people are petty and what i’ve noticed is that petty is soooo third grade, ya know? 

to the point of showing your true colors…

never let others drag you into their ugliness and drive you to begin to act out of character.  show your own true colors and never let your good character be tainted by judgement, lies, injustice or otherwise.  trust that it will always work out in the end…even if it doesn’t seem like it.  trust me, i’ve been there and done that…many times!

until next time,

c ya

yo, are you doing it or not? February 18, 2009

Posted by jonesgurl in my ramblings....
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like most people, i have an appreciation for the english language and proper use of grammar and such.  i consider myself vaguely on point when it comes to using the correct I and Me.  i miss the mark when it comes to putting commas and semi-colons where they belong.  i even skip paragraphs altogether.  i appreciate the power of perfectly punctuated phrases.  do I perfectly punctuate my phrases? NO!  as if you haven’t already noticed, i am too lazy busy  consumed with maximizing my time to capitalize the beginning of my sentences and the beginning of words.  i am fully aware of what i am doing and it bugs me.  however, whenever, wherever or whoever…i am not doing it

lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of people do it and it drives me absolutely CRAZY!!!  it grates on my nerves like nails on a chalk board, like grinding teeth, like chinese water torture.  don’t do it.  don’t mix up the words YOUR and YOU’RE.  here’s the deal people.  those two words are not interchangeable!!! you can’t just go using them all willy nilly.  i’m just saying.  you’re (a contraction – you are) and your (belongs to you / possessive).  you get it?  they don’t mean the same.  so STOP IT!!!

by the way, feel free to correct me on my stuff…if you dare.  i’m sure there’s plenty to run red marks through when it comes to my writing,  but at least you know that i’m doing it right.  because you’re reading this,  i know that i have your attention.  the next time i get a note from someone with the your or you’re in the wrong place…i’m going to red mark your note, return it to you and you’re going to thank me for it.  or maybe not!  teehee

now that i’ve given you the riot act about the use of the words your and you’re, i will work on my stuff.  i’ll take the easy and funny way out with this cute little book .  it just might be the thing i need.

a letter to my husband…and son November 5, 2008

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november 5, 2008

well, well, well.  where do i start dear ones.  last night was an exciting one, no matter if you were voting red or blue.  as you both well know, i am the a news junkie, flipping from one channel to the next in between commercials.  over the past twenty plus months that obsession has kicked into high gear.  i never told either of you who i voted for but you knew and saw that i was going to be enthusiastic either way.  i may not agree with all of what the candidates stood for, but the power to make a difference, win or lose, was exciting. 

we all had the freedom to vote, but we did not have to cast a ballot if we didn’t want to.  as a family we saw the importance of putting in our two cents to make a difference.  this letter is an urging and reminder to our immediate family of what our motto is – do your best no matter what

as we move past november 4th 2008, a  day that has forever transformed what and how this country and others watching will view itself.   the excitement and possibilities for people from all walks and beliefs is electric. 

when we as a family take a step forward to do our best in all things from the health and welfare of our family, our education, our careers, our emotions, our recovery from trials and missteps, our grief, our love for each other and others that we care for, the purpose to which God has called  us together and individually and the belief that we as a family hold firm to through the best of times and the worst of times.  i think that a ready and willing soul can be so propelled forward and transformed in a way that influences and inspires.  this is the way i believe that life is worth living.  Christ expects that we are not resting on our laurels and chilling with apathy.  lukewarm is not the way and i know that through me the men in the household in which i live will be supported all the way into your greatness.  not your greatness by man’s puffed up standards but the standards that count with God. 

looking at you two, i see far beyond what i know that you see.  my hope for you is that you will know the rocking fantastic persons that you really are and that you will always live up to that and never shrink into a shell of something that you will look back on a not be proud of.  yes, flawed is a condition all humans experience, but to believe that it is the sum total of who you are and then begin to live up to that is not what and who the best of you really really really really is.

please know (dude that i married), that when your six foot slender frame walks through the door after a day away at an occupation that makes you feel heroic at times, the three foot something little boy whose heart begins to palpitate with excitement upon hearing your keys enter the front door is enamored with you.  not only is he enamored with you, he stands at the door with you as your remove your shoes waiting for you for you to swoop him up in your arms and bring security into his world.  when he looks up at you he sees the man that he admires.  the man, who as far as he’s concerned, makes the world go around.  the man who can do anything, including bring happy times into his life and disappoint him all in the same day.  he wants to please the man whose idea of him matters the most.  the man whose support and love he will need and desire as he grows into his own and begins to pursue happiness for himself.  the man whose ideas, advice, suggestions, approval and listening ear and heart he will need.  the man who will help shape the man he will become.  the man who he will look to as he grows up and follow the calling upon his life.  the man whose example matters to him even when you’re wrong, he’s wrong or even when he takes you for granted and vice versa.  all of you matters to him.  yes, you, the man and all of who you are.  he is proud of you the real you, the flawed you, the funny you, the cool calm and collected you, the silly you, the you who let’s him climb all over you and silently scream as he kicks you in the woohoos, the you who is caring, the you who is loving, the you who is warm and fuzzy, the you who is kind, the you who prefers to sleep 18 hours a day but instead plays withhim and helps to take care of him, the you he demands what sometimes seems like all of your attention, the you whom he dares to challenge with his strong will, the you who is in his two person boys club because “mommy is not a cool boy like us”, and the you who tries to correct him and put in his place because he thinks that he can remind you of the good manners you taught him.  yes you.  the man who will show him what transformation, growth, love without conditions, grace, honesty, strength and the courage to do your best no matter what. the you who he is watching in how to treat others.  you…the man.

be inspired by what’s happening around you. be encouraged by the words of thoses cheering you on. be guided by the Holy Spirit in you.  be who God ccreated each of you to be. be transformed.  be energized, strengthened and live life to it’s fullest.  compromise none of your principles and embrace a full and honoring life.  don’t doubt the support that you have as you pursue a cause and a ife of responsibilities that’s bigger than yourselves…it will be here for you.