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big lips and babies pt. 2… April 20, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change, baby news, he said what?, hmmmmm.
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okay, so i was preparing to head out to run errands, get the car fixed, pick up a few items, place online orders, and continue the long process of spring cleaning.  these are the things on my to do list.  as i was brushing my teeth before heading out the door i flipped the t.v. to the oprah show.  lo’ and behold it was octomom!  she’s back on t.v.  anyhoo, i was very interested in seeing what ‘ol nadya suleman is up to these days (i’ve nicknamed her big lips and babies ‘cuz, well, you know…she’s got plenty-o-lips  and plenty-o-babies). 

so i took a few minutes to watch the circus that is here life.  i don’t mean that in any way that is demeaning but she even says how crazy it is.  but, i admire the fact that she still has a bit of her sanity left.  oh my gosh, 14 kids from the age of 8 and under with 6 infant/toddlers in the mix.  insert:  head spin!!!!!!! she doesn’t have a partner/husband to take some of the stress and strain that comes with parenting and relying on for simple emotional support, which is sometimes a strain for women with a partner/husband or single moms with only a small amount of kids. i say God bless this poor woman and her brood to be okay and to come out on top. 

i must say that as she was speaking she sounded as if she has taken an introspective and retrospective look at things and knows that she went into this whole situation with thinking that was unrealistic.  she also seems to not be in denial about anything (anymore), but she does seem to be fully aware of the real needs of her family and the long road ahead of her.  i. just. can. not. fathom. the. amount. of. stress.  if i could i would send help to this little village. i’m not even kidding, really, i would.  right now i can’t so, for now, i send my prayers.  i was exhausted just watching the show.

speaking of more children…

as i await the soon to come due date of my new little one, i’m in a whirlwind of emotional highs and lows and brain cell loss and all else that comes with the final countdown.  though my head is still spinning from watching the show with the “little village” that is octomom’s house, i am excited to be adding to my crew too.  bringing new life into the world is beyond amazing and it really is the chance of a lifetime.  i have my myles, my amber (in heaven) and this sweet baby coming in a few weeks.  at one of my last doc appointments the doc that i’ve known for ten years says to me, “we have your c-section scheduled and i want to know if you have considered having a tubiligation?  i just sat there.  he turned around and looked at me to see if i was awake or if i had heard the question.  i was thinking to myself, the nerve of him asking me that question.  he went on to explain to me why he was asking and that if i wanted it done it would be a good idea to do it while he’s doing the c-section.  so, in essence, that would be a tremendous high and low all in the same day.  at least for me it would be. 

that was over a week ago that he asked me that question and i still cannot wrap my brain or emotions around it.  i said to him, “but that’s so…permanent” and he said to me in a very slow answer, “yes, that is the point of it.”  he went on to explain why he mentioned it and within his response he included my age.  ugh! whaddaya mean!!! i am still hot to trot.  “really, my body can still do this, i’ve only gained 12.5 pounds in all and i can still shuck and jive with the best of them” is what i really wanted to tell him (maybe i did say that, i don’t remember).  i am still in shock…how. dare. he. ask. me. that.  the. nerve.  i say that tongue in cheek  because i really do trust his opinions or suggestion.  he is a good doc and is leaving the decision up to me.  plus, if i left it up to him, he would be slicin’ and dicin’.

do i want more babies?  hmmmmmmm

the next time he asks me to confirm whether i am going to have the surgery or not…my answer, “if you touch my tubes you die!”  teehee. just kidding, kind of. 

i wonder if other women have had this much trouble deciding on whether or not to chop the tubes, burn the ends of them or whatever it is that they do while you’re under the knife.

speaking of my doc, he’s just concerned. speaking of me, i. am. freaked. out!!!!!! i. want. my. tubes!!!! i want them even if i don’t want more children.  do i want more children? i don’t know.  i wonder if men have the same trepidation when presented with the “opportunity” to have someone introduce a surgical knife to their woohoos? 

listen up doc, i am not the octomom, i don’t have the brood that i want yet.  back off my tube, man!

until next time,

c ya…hopefully with tubes in tow

babies and big lips pt. 2… March 13, 2009

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sensationalism at it’s best.  more on the octomom.  admit it.  you can’t stop, i can’t stop, we all can’t stop watching, can we?  it’s like a train wreck and we just can’t get enough. ya know.  anyhoo, check it out and then read on.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/29613845#29613845

i saw this on a today show segment – an interview with two mommy pros or something like that.  i know that just like butts, everyone has an opinion, but this video…sheesh.

just watching this made me want to barfarama.  when people are sooooooo critical of other people with hardly any understanding that we don’t all think, act, or live the same – it just makes me want to take up for the person being picked on.  everyone of us comes with baggage, but some of us think that we’re perfect enough to rip people without any grace for others.  i mean like really, i just found my baggage last week and discovered, low and behold – i’ve got baggage.  it’s decorative, mind you, but i’ve got some.

it’s time to start praying for octomom and if you’re fortunate enough to support their family with your hands or funds, why not do it.

babies and big lips… March 11, 2009

Posted by jonesgurl in children, hmmmmm, mommies, my ramblings....
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it seems that everyone has an opinion, a thought, an axe to grind, a stone to throw and so on a so forth.  i must say that i’m not quite sure what to say about that situation.  that octomom situation, that is.  she is in a very tough and overwhelming position right now.  did she bring it upon herself?  could she have let someone else have the babies? could/should she have taken a pass on the oversized lip surgery?  who knows.

i guess i could look at all that she’s done as it relates to her ever increasing family and how she should have done this and that differently. if i expressed my opinion, would it be me casting judgement.  but i do believe that there is probably a whole lot more to the story than any of us know.  though, we do know enough to be floored by it all.  or do we?

is it any of our business?  as concerned citizens, we have a right to remain nosey, right?  if she didn’t want us all to be concerned, why is she offering interviews with every form of media possible?  if it’s helping her to raise the funds that she needs to take care of her situation…do we say – go for it?

now that the babies are here, the attention would be best given to the eight new little precious babies as well as the other six children.  will they go home to an already overwhelmed mom?  will she adopt them out to some other parents who are in a position to emotionally, mentally and physically care for them.  heck, how do we not know that with lots and lots of help and a different/bigger place to live, if she can actually do it or not? it just might be possible.  is it fair to the children and whose call is it to make?

 i was speaking with a mother of my son’s classmate the other day and she said that her mom is one of 18 children.  all natural born to the same mother and father.  however, it didn’t sound so odd to me because in the days of our grandparents and even in the days of some of our parents, largeover-sized families were not an extremely odd thing, from what i hear.

my mother had eight siblings.  i never really thought much of it.  i’m assuming that at times it must have been overwhelming for people with very expanded families.  according to all stories told, they did whatever was needed to care for their family.  as far as i can tell, they all came out okay…in a matter of speaking.  i don’t think i ever heard my aunts, uncles or my mom speak of their childhood being jam packed with too many kids.  they seemed to all have experienced parental love, care and if they moved quick enough, they all got a good meal.  but, is that all that there is?  how fulfilling could a life like that be and who gets neglected, misses out on new clothes/shoes or good hand me downs, cultural experiences, one-on-one time, individualized care for disabilities and so on and so forth?  looking at all of this, i think she has a right to be overwhelmed.  and i assume that she is doing some major self evaluation at this point.  she has probably said over and over to herself, “what the!!!”

i am raising one little one and when times are tight as they are with our current layoff situation, i truly get concerned about whether we will be able to provide a well rounded and fulfilling life for him.  thankfully i can be and am thrifty and creative…thanks mom. 

i pray that she gets the resources and helping hands that are needed for her brood.  the babies are here, the deed has been done and she is now freaking out.  if you could, what would you offer to her? ( even if you are angry with her decisions)

so what’s with all of the sensationalism?  i guess the other day, she said she is overwhelmed and is concerned because some of the babies could possibly be comng home soon.  what to do? what to do? 

octomom has some tough decisions to make.  if one of those decisions is whether or not she has to adopt out her children because she has no money, not enough help and no wherewithal to have a healthy family with the new eight additions…that would be the most extreme choice i would ever even imagine she would have to make.  imagine her dilema!

there are consequences on either side.  she would probably be emotional wrecked if they had to go home with someone else.  but then again, she would probably be overwhelmed and without proper resources if they came home with her. 

how many of us would actually be able to make the best decision without thinking that we are not making the best decision? 

here’s the deal.  how christ deals with us is not by looking at our sins as a way to punish us.  though there are natural consequences, there is also grace and mercy from the one who came to redeem us.  he is our counselor, comforter, keeper, redeemer and friend.  so, he definitely would not keep talking to us about how we should have or could have or must have or even how stupid we are.  trust me, he knows how faulty and flawed we are.   but he also promises that upon seeking his forgiveness, upon seeking his wisdom, we can know a different life.  all of us will experience some of life’s drama, but, christ can lead us to wiser decision making…if we seek and ask.

in retrospect, she has said – she probably would have thought twice about being implantedwith more embryos. to live as if she alone was invincible and able  to care for 6 or even 7 children (let alone 14) without a father in the picture and without giving second thought to circumstances was fantasy to say the least.

so the focus should definitely be on what now.  yes, there are some things that will be investigated and laws that may change, or legal regulations put into place and so on and so forth, all based on this whole situation.  i guess, all things happen for a reason.

in the meantime, moving forward.  the focus should be on the six, plus the eight, plus the three adults (2 overwhelmed grandparents with a house in foreclosure status and a harried mom who obviously is in need of many things…).  how to care for them, who will care for them and how to move toward making this situation – a life that god can redeem. should this be the focus now?