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SCANDAL!!! October 3, 2013

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I’m supposed to be taking a quick nap, but Scandal is too interesting. Everyone seems to be a fan of Oliva Pope…just as I am. But doggone, I am team crazy wife right now. No affair, let alone a scandal type of an affair would just not be okay. I cannot see myself negotiating on how to spin this to the public. Yeah, I must say that I AM NOT THAT COMPOSED. I am sooooo glad to see that Meli is not weeping and crying and all weak and fragile. Though she may have had her moment at that, but now she’s witch-on-wheels and seeing how this could work for her in the long run (she’s up to something). I’m glad she wasn’t portrayed as all weak and wimpy ‘cuz I would no longer be interested and the writers and creator of the show are all waaay smarter than that. Meli is slick and there is something quite interesting on the horizon…I hope. Fitz better watch it, because a woman scorned is all sorts or team-crazy-wife-witch-on wheels. Okay, so here’s where I switch thoughts for just a moment, Olivia is sharp, cunning, brilliant, emotional, a sharp dressing chick and ready for whatever comes at her at any given moment. She knows she’s wrong for “that”, however, Meli better “bring it”, because she may be no match this sharp and smart and intelligent to the core sistaaaaah.

I’m supposed to be sleeping right now, but this show is good. This is my guilty pleasure salaciousness for the week.

Ssssshhhh, Scandal is back on!!!

Ssshh…Scandal is off (for just a few months)!!! May 28, 2013

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Generally speaking, people love a good scandal whether it’s on the small or large screen or a real life scandal.  Some [people] get so caught up in the scandal itself that they begin to mesh the details into their own life.  By now, we’ve all heard of the hit show called >Scandal.  Full disclosure, yes, I watched the show and I must say it was intriguing to try to figure out who did what, why, where and how they were/are going to get out of it.  And let’s not forget the mole situation, oh but wait…Olivia’s dad?!  We

(those of us who are big fans of the show) are excited for the sun and fun of summer, however, fall probably can’t come soon enough for the salacious goodness of Scandal to be back on the tube. With that being said, I can’t help but to have an extreme disgust for the adulterous affair between Fitz and the woman he “really” loves. It may very well be true that his relationship with Mel was somewhat of an arranged political marriage. With that being the case, it was bound to be full of scandal all its own without any extra help. But what disturbed me quite a bit was what I heard women, married women, no doubt proclaim Mel to be disgusting and the worse and so on and so forth. I like the characters of Fitz, Olivia and Mel, they’re all essential to the hype and intrigue and fun which keeps us all coming back each week.

I guess what I’m saying here is that can you imagine (and yes, I can imagine) people rooting for the mistress to “make it” with your husband when there is trouble in what once was a happy or mildly happy abode and relationship. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a ton of times, if a wife is angry and unhappy she didn’t just get there by waking up one morning that way. No matter how much information you know about a couple’s marriage you still don’t know all of what you think you know about them. When a wife is in all out witch mode, there is some major unresolved shtuff happening and I guarantee she did NOT get there from just waking up that way. Although this is just a show and the fantastically grande imagination of one creative being’s mind, somewhere in the world it is art imitating life.

It’s a great show, with great writing and such. BUT, I will never be fooled into thinking that some mistress, no matter how much I admire all else about her, is better than the “for better or worse” of someone’s vows. Even if the couple decides to call it quits for what ever the reason, I will NEVER cheer on a man and his concubine nor a woman and her side piece of tail…in real life nor will I do it for one of my favorite t.v. shows. I look forward to finding out about Olivia’s dad, the mole, and of course, Huck, who you can’t help but wonder what toruture is in store for him next. Side note: remember when Huck was the skinny kid on Half Baked. tee hee 🙂

So, until the new season in the fall at 9:00 p.m. on whatever night it comes on, you can talk all you want, but when that time comes everyone will be saying…sshh, Scandal is on.

coming out of the closet… August 8, 2011

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seriously coming out of the closet for this. what closet you say? i am a closet rap fan.  i like the bumping of the bass.  i like the hard-core poetry (yes, i said poetry, that’s how i choose to see it).  i like the passion and believability that pour out of these guys.  i like the creativity of their words.  i like their ability to flow.  i would say that i like the bling, however, it is only of value to me because it could probably yield quite a few pairs of shoes. anyhoo, before you go gasping and clutching your pearls, i did not say that i listen to all rap and i did not say that all rap is good.  but, i do like rap.

anyway, dre’ dog just informed me that all rappers DO NOT write their own lyrics.  WHAT?! i was quite disappointed.  i do so enjoy that genre of music.  i assumed that the sheer artistry and creativity and organic process was the truth.  then dre’ dog just busted my little bubble.  i was watching 60 minutes and there was an interview that anderson cooper did with eminem http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/08/07/60minutes/main20086920.shtml?tag=contentMain;cbsCarousel . (yes anderson cooper has flown the coop from cable  to make appearances on your basic non cable channel – yay! because cable rates don’t apply at my house).

by the way, i do like some of eminem’s music and his story is a bit interesting. so, he was talking with em (personal name basis. you like that? teehee), so he said to em, “and you write all of your own music.”  i was surprised by this question because he is this creative artist who raps from the heart and out of his experience and all about his life and whatnot, i said out loud, “of course, he writes his own music, right, dre’ dog?’ and dre’ dog said, no, not all rappers write their own stuff.  what? who is not writing their own rap? i know that a whole lot of the call me gullible for believing the stories and experiences of some of the rap songs i’ve heard.   in all honesty, the guys that aren’t writing their own stuff are probably not the ones i listen to anyway.

if you’re going to rap about your bazillions of benjamins while making it rain at the club with all your entourage popping bottles in your honor…you better be telling the truth.  how am i suppose to believe YOU! seriously though, the rap i listen to is not exactly that, but i better not find out that i’m listening to some bogus fake rappers.  i will bust a…well, you know the rest.

i’m going to go and put my rose colored glasses on and listen to some music. what’s that? dre’ dog just  tried to tell me that i’ve been listening to the radio version?  and here i was thinking, “they don’t even cuss and stuff.”  (slips on rose colored glasses and ignores anything else dre’ dog tries to disappoint me with).  next he’ll be telling me i’ve been singing the wrong lyrics.

i’m heading back into my closet to practice my skills, listen to my music and i better not be drawn out of my closet for some foolish lies.

peace

*in case you didn’t recognize the new monkier, dre’ dog is my other half.

big moments going down today… May 17, 2011

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anyhoo, really fun day. nope, not because i was going to the oprah show finale spectacular at the united center, that pales in comparison to lady bug turning ONE.  she had cake for the first time and she hardly even ate the frosting or the cake.  is this my child?  i am a buttercream frosting loving fool.  so, she blew out her first candle, had a special birthday lunch and was smooched and hugged and loved continuously.  i had an oops with her cupcake, ugh

the day of partying started with this… 

her very first cake and candle

 

opening presents from her tia

 

twins

 

singing happy birthday

 
 
and ended with this…
 
our tickets to party with 13,000 plus people for the big O
 
yay me! i got tickets to the oprah show finale thingama PARTAY spectacular fest to beat all fest! it was a tough call.  do i spend the entire day handing out with lady bug for her first birthday and go to the show that night?  i seriously pondered this and mother’s guilt was kicking my butt!  reluctantly and happily, full of excitement and full of guilt, ready to party with lady bug and ready to party with oprah…what to do what to do. baby in one hand, tickets in the other. so, with tickets in hand, we made our way to the show, but not until after her birthday lunch.  i mean really, if she could talk she would tell me to go, right?  teehee.  it was a blast, by the way.  my best friend and i went and it was totally one of our full circle moments.  when i first moved here i got tickets to the oprah show and she and i went.    now fast forward 10 years later and we are going again to the finale spectacular show taping. what? so fun! and i almost didn’t get tickets.  i sent in a request for tickets and they sent a reply back letting me know that a gazillion people made requests and i would not be in the house for the party.  and a couple days later they sent another email stating there may be a possibility if i reply asap.  i replied asap and the rest is history.  yet another full circle moment with my best friend.  and another adventure me-thelma and her-louise.  tee hee
 
exhaustion has set in and i am now sick. ugh.  by the way, she didn’t miss me much because she fell asleep within a couple of hours.

go, go, go,go, go, go, go baby, it’s your birthday… May 17, 2011

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tiny but mighty!

 
today my lady bug turns ONE!!!  i can’t hardly stand it…i’m so excited.  we made it to/through one full year.  can’t wait for her to wake up so i can sing to her!!!
GET UP LADY BUG…IT’S TIME TO PARTY! WOOHOO. teehee

mommy’s day… May 13, 2011

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hope your mommy’s day was good!

let’s see…i ate a full bag of chips (lays – natural, lightly salted) a must have in a cravings time of need. not my normal craving, but it was the first thing i grabbed as we were zooming through the aisles at the market.   no looking at me in that tone of voice, i missed breakfast and lunch and i had to work hard all morning.  tee hee

for most of the day, i hung out with my two best buddies (lady bug and the dude) and chilled in the back yard while dinner (grilled salmon, grilled chicken breast, grilled potatoes and carrots, grilled corn on the cob) was being grilled.  did i mention that the food was grilled?  tasteeeeee

anyhoo, as i relaxed in the tall grass of my back yard and took in the sun, i could have napped for quite some time.  by the way, tall grass is not the look we’re going for, but seeing that i refuse to fire up the lawn mower…for right now at least 

so, i only have a picture with the munchkin.  the “dude” was too busy watching movies to get in on snap shots. 

grilled food, sitting in the tall grass and hanging out with my favorite peeps.  what was even more fun was how much sweet boy kept giving me hugs (really big hugs) all day.  he said he had to make me feel extra special.  in sunday school he made a cute little flower pot and wrote a message of words that were supposed to be descriptive…of me.  his words:  cute and the other side says sexy and it had a little scripture attached to it.  hmmmmm.  i was quite surprised at how observant his choice of adjectives. but who am i to argue with him.  teehee

a gift from the “dude”

   

dang, girl…where have you been? May 1, 2011

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okay, so i’ve been… not writing. OBVIOUSLY.  actually, i HAVE been writing (in my head).  i’ve been homeschooling.  i’ve been taking care of a new baby.  i’ve been walking around half asleep.  i’ve been a little bit tired.  i’ve been keeping up with my husband’s in town and out-of-town work schedule.  i’ve been washing dishes and doing laundry. i’ve been singing.   i’ve been driving.  i’ve been out of town a little here and a little there.  i’ve been working on something really really really really cool.  i’ve been consumed with all that gives me energy and drains me all at the same time.  i’ve been doing what i’ve gotta do.  that list of what i’ve been doing seems small, however, it involves lots of details  details  details.

don’t cry for me argentina because it’s a mixed bag of the joys, the highs, the scary, the mundane, the mending, the healing, the miracles and so on and so forth.  to simply put it…i’ve been LIVING life.  my life, i’m sure, is no different than lots of ceo moms around these parts.  i just made that up  – CEO Mom.  kinda catchy, yeah?

well, anyhoo, believe it or not my lady bug is nearly one year old.  in exactly 17 days she will be ONE!!!  just to say those words puts my stomach in knots.  it has been  a miracle of a year.  it was a miracle to even have her enter my world.  so, to make it to this point is an even greater miracle…for me.

her stats:  she weighs about 11.5 lbs.  she is a little peanut.  of course you would not know it because she thinks she can hang with her 7 year old brother.  fortunately, she still fits a lot of her clothes.  unfortunately, her tiny pants sometimes fall right off of her little booty. too funny.

she has a bit of hair, not too much.  she has her dad’s hairline which truly cracks me up.  she looks so much like him all the way down to the hair line which dips back a bit…if you know what i mean.

no teeth yet. but she sure can gum some food.

she can talk (baby talk, of course).  words used most often – num, daaaad, maaa maaaa, ay (when she’s calling her brother), lots of squealing and squeaking.  she can sign language the words more, thank you, eat, yummy.  she blows kisses, if she feels like it. and she blows rasberries more than kisses.

she’s crawling and walking if you hold her hand.  perhaps she’ll go solo by birthday time.  if not, no rush.  really!

her favorite food is homemade oatmeal with smashed bananas and a dash of cinnamon.  her favorite treat – strawberries!

she has a smile that can brighten your entire world.  and yes, i’m very biased, but it IS true. tee hee

her favorite toy is sophie the giraffe – a total retro toy.

she has found the rhythm to music and dances like no one is watching.  she thinks she can snap her fingers like the big people around her.  she rubs her pointer finger and thumb together  and kicks her feet.  this. is. quite. a. sight. to. see. (i hope she never loses these little personal moments of joy)

she sleeps through the nights.

she is still nursing. and she drinks her water from a sippy cup, big girl style.  oh yeah, she thinks bottles and nuks are toys.  so, buying those were a waste of money.

she can read and is potty trained…ok, i’m just kidding.  tee hee.

her favorite person in the whole wide world is myles.  she lights up when he enters the room and looks for him when he leaves the room.  this truly makes me happy.  i thought their 7 year age gap would make them so unable to relate to each other.  SHE COULDN’T HAVE COME AT A BETTER TIME!

she grabbed myles’ hand while he was sleeping

on another note…i am in so much trouble.  i was so convinced that i would have her pictures taken each month.  i mean, really, why wouldn’t i take her for a monthly snap shot?  we did it for myles and ooops, genesis only got maybe three months worth.  sigh.  anyhoo, through a friend, we found one of the most patient and best photographers in these here parts. i’m in desparate need of visiting her, but i always seem to run out of time in the days, weeks months.  ugh!!! i’ve got to get back there asap.  so, note to andre’, no travel for at least a few weeks. okay? thanks. WE. NEED. PICTURES. NOW. tee hee.  anyhoo, julie, the photographer/baby whisperer can be found here and she put a little post about my lady bug here. (for those of you who clicked the link already…she’s good, huh? )

 Aundrea-Claire Genesis (true meaning of her name:  strong-bright beginning)

inhaling her most favorite treat!

this is all the quick and dirty of what’s going on.  i’ve blown the dust off of this here keyboard and now i’m ready to write.

see ya:) peace in the middle east. rain in spain.

take care

she’s here. she’s here. it’s a sweet sweet girl!!! June 16, 2010

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okay. so i have like two seconds to write until feeding time.  i’m sooooo excited and sleepy. 

i gave birth to a girl and her name is aundrea-claire genesis.  yes, she has like ten names, but i love it.  the name aundrea genesis actually kept coming to me, but i never really actually thought i would get a chance to use it (the name).  she has a part of her dad’s name which is bonus for him.  i really wish that i could say how clever i am in arranging her name for a pretty cool meanig.  nope, i could not have been creative enough to think of putting her name together on my own.  but, it has a really cool meaning and at a very pivotal point in the life of my family.  aundrea (female version of andre’ and it means strong / powerful), claire (means bright) and genesis (means beginning).  so, her name translated is – strong bright beginning!  how cool is that?!

she is lots of fun and very tiny.  she was 5 pounds 8 ounces at birth.  i’m sure she is all of maybe 6 pounds by now.  i know this because she has a very hearty appetite.  she nurses around the clock and sleeps when she’s not eating.  i forget that baby’s are not up for hours waiting to amuse us big people…she’s got sleeping to do!  teehee 

she was quite a peanut at birth and to see her in person, she is still a peanut.  on pictures she looks bigger and older than what she really is.  i tend to have small very adorable babies. 🙂

i have two seconds to finish…but i’ll be back:) 

in the meantime and in between time…here are two of my favorite pics of her.

genesis at two weeks old

genesis at four weeks

irresistible…

the day has arrived… May 17, 2010

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i’m outta here.  soon i will be off to my scheduled delivery….YIKES!!!

i made it, whew…this has been a looooonnnnngggg almost 40 weeks, but thank God it’s here. we’ll be talking with ya soon and we’ll have some new baby stuff to show ya.  yay!!! thanks for the prayers and good vibes!!!

last meal with just mommy and me

until next time,

c, ya

three days and counting… May 14, 2010

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i am soooo high on life right now.  i’m not sure if others of you have ever experienced being really really happy about certain aspects of your life while dealing with some of life’s toughest challenges at the same time.  kinda weird huh? such is life, right?

anyhoo, let’s talk about the high.  i have three days left and just thinking about the new baby is keeping my natural buzz going. the only thing about that is that i feel a bit like i’m in la la land, all buzzed up on life and peeps.  yep, i said it – peeps. you know those colored sugar covered marshmallow things that you buy at easter (we have a small stash in the pantry:)).  yummmm.  i figured that since i only have a few days to give in to every craving that comes to mind…go for the peeps.  sugary goodness.  next…a klondike bar. and then…an avocado with just a bit of salt with lime and tomato.  afternoon delight!

so far, total weight gain for this pregnancy – 16 pounds.  what’s one pound more?  teehee

speaking of being high on life and an extra sixteen pounds- i was sitting on the bed and i happened to look down at my belly and had a fleeting thought of omg, how did my belly get so big?  and then i remembered, oh yeah, i’m pregnant.  yep…i know, i’m a dork.  teehee. so i continued eating my peeps and carried on with whatever it was i was doing. i can’t believe i forgot (for like two seconds) that i’m preggers.

i had my last doc’s appointment yesterday!!! woohoo.  it was weird because for a few months, i was there two times a week and sometimes three times a week.  now i’m free.  all went well at the appointment and all looks great.  the only thing about a scheduled c-section is that there is no surprise, and no water breaking and you don’t get to 1-2-3 push and the baby is here.  i’m not complaining in the least bit, but i must say that the natural way is an experience to be had.  i’m probably just fantasizing because that’s what it was like the first time around (relatively speaking). 

anyhoo, three days and we’ll have pics to post of a sweet little baby that i’m almost sure will look like myles and me.  (just like amber did).  no worries, andre’s contribution will probably be seen somewhere in the toes or fingers or something…teehee

if anything happens before monday…we’ll let ya know

and on the seventh day… May 11, 2010

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baby is a coming in seven days!  yay!!!

can someone tell me where to find that quiet secluded place where pregnant women in their last week of pregnancy go for serenity?  you know, there really should be a place such as that.  a place where we go to do nothing, hear nothing, speak nothing if we don’t want to.  sounds fantastic right?  ‘cuz we all know that the day baby arrives – all the ummmm, what’s the word…fun, yeah, that’s it, all the fun begins!!!

the best part of the no sleep or minimal sleep, nursing every two hours, 2.5 minute showers, 30 second hair-do, 2 minute teeth brushing time, “get my body back” recovery time, spit-up, poop explosions, car-load of baby equipment, foggy brain momma, c-section healing time, not forgetting to use mederma for the scar, not forgetting to eat, eating while nursing without dropping food on the baby, multi-multi-tasking, not knowing what day it is and finally…holding, kissing, loving, appreciating, soaking in the love and smell of this sweet baby.  the latter part of it all makes the rest of it soooooooo worth while.  i’ll take a stitch or two anyday, just to get to the point of being able to hold and smell and love this sweet baby. 

i am going to really enjoy these final few days, because i may never get this chance of a lifetime to give birth again…or will i?  hmmmmmmmm

it is overwhelming and i’m not quite sure why because i’ve done this before. 

anyhoo, as i take time to sleep the days away (mainly because i can hardly keep my eyes open), i shall double check my baby name list (abner or agnes -names at the top of the list), hospital bag, final doc’s appt. and make sure the gas tank is full…i will be poised to go and ready to celebrate and party!!! NEW. BABY. IS. COMING!!!

in the meantime, the woman in this video is going to help get the party started…

this. is. too. funny.  i don’t think i can pop and lock and shake like this even when i’m not pregnant.  check out her skills 🙂

until next time

c ya

spontaneous moments before the calculated countdown… May 9, 2010

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okay, so myles had a photo session with a great photographer the other day.  it was such an easy breezy session.  myles was chilled out and in a comfort zone and she was so cool.

unbeknownst to julie, the surprise for me was that the photos ended up being taken by “the purple flowers”.  i have been pulling the car over everywhere to take pics by “the purple flowers”.  you see, this time every year, there are these purple flowers that bloom on the side of roads and freeways everywhere and they catch my attention.  if i can, i pull over to get a picture of them or with them.  this year was no different except for the fact that there was no good place to pull over.  there were going to be no pictures taken with “the purple flowers” this year…or so i thought.

julie the photographer that took pictures of myles had a plan A for pictures with myles but that quickly changed and plan B came into play.  what joy for me when plan B was right in the heart of a bunch of “the purple flowers”.  yay julie and yay for me.

even though i had no plans of being included in any snap shots that day, i could not resist.  i was sleepy.  i was tired.  i was ready to go home and take a quick rest before the fast approaching delivery date of the new baby.  “the purple flowers” help take the sting out of my to do lists.

i absolutely love candid pictures and those taken in nature settings.  so, as soon as we said good-bye to julie we ran a quick errand and returned right back to the spot that was calling my name.  i pulled out my trusty phone (yes, i said phone not camera:)) and FINALLY…i got my pictures by “the purple flowers”.    very precious and brief spontaneous moments with much thanks to my personal photographer…andre’. 

obviously, a photographer…i am not! but just for my records, these amateur shots will do for me.  these are some of my final spontaneous moments before the very nearing countdown to baby’s arrival.  and yes, i am calculating every minute i have left.  i need more time!!!

by the way, i have no idea the official name of “the purple flowers”

awww sweet?...he was trying to get a yes answer for some candy!

the negotiation...

negotiation settled. i got flowers. he got candy. see the smirk on his face.

chatting with my favorite boy...as always

myles talking to my belly and warning the baby about "the purple flowers"

the color purple - back to my roots hair and all 🙂 teehee

a picture of me six years ago chasing purple flowers while pregnant with my myles

until next time

c, ya…by the way folks, the countdown is really on.  this is the final week!

mail mine to haiti and pakistan…please May 9, 2010

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okay, so i have to end the week with a cute little story about you know who…myles, of course.

today was the day for stamp out hunger with the postal service.  you know – the post card you get in the mail that lets you know that your friendly neighborhood postal worker will be dropping off your mail and collecting food  for food banks around the area. 

so, we packed some bags of food to share and started to head out to the mail box to drop them there. before going there myles said that he had to label the bags before we left them at the curb.  label the bags?  not sure what he meant but he asked for a sharpie marker and needed my help holding the bags while he wrote his labels on each bag.  on one bag he wrote the word haiti and on another bag he wrote the word pakistan.  he alternated…two bags for haiti and two bags for pakistan.  (he got a little help with the spelling).  i was impressed.  though, i did not know he was going to do this or i would have evened the bags out a bit.  it looks as if in one of pakistan’s bags they will be getting one tall box of rice crispies:). 

anyhoo, i thought it was kinda funny because i never even thought twice about where these food items were going to be going.  i just assumed it would be some food bank nearby.  but, of course, myles never leaving anything to chance, made sure that the post office who delivers everywhere could definitely deliver this food to the properly addressed country (no address required :)). 

i love his thoughtfulness!  seriously, kids have a way of making us think a bit before we do or even as we do things. 

so instead of his heart and thoughts for wanting to help other people simply reach people down the street to the nearest food bank, i’m sure that one day his heart for helping others will go the extra mile all the way to haiti, pakistan or somewhere else needed.

he makes my heart swell. sigh.

baby countdown… April 26, 2010

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by the way, i have three weeks to go before baby comes!!!  my first appointment for this week went well and all looks good thus far.  my iron levels are starting to increase…yay!!!  praying for it to be as high as possible. i do not want a blood transufsion so i am inhaling all iron rich foods except for red meat and i’m taking vitamin c to help with the absorption. 

i double checked the birth day plans with the doc and how quickly i can get the heck out of the hospital and get rollin’ rollin’ rollin’. 

i’m so excited.  BUT, the end of it all is going too fast.  i love my round belly bump.  yes, the bump  that’s causing me not to be able to bend forward.  i guess all this fun shall pass in THREE WEEKS.  aaaaahhhhhh!

baby’s coming…baby’s coming!

you wanna know how prepared i am?  i just bought my diaper/baby bag and it’s stuffed with the paper that came with it :).  woohoo.  i think that’s all i need. teehee

nursing a six-year old… April 26, 2010

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i’m absolutely planning to nurse for as long as i can. it’s healthy, there’s no expense because you get the milk for free.  and so on and so forth.  however, i draw the line at six-year old boys nursing.  in some countries or somewhere in the world i know that it may not be strange at all for kids beyond the age of 1 and 1/2 to 2 years old to nurse, BUT a six-year old man-child should not be  cozying up to momma for what he can get out of a glass jar in the fridge. 

why am i talking about this?  well, i know he must have been joking, but my six-year old asked me if he gets to nurse when the baby nurses.  i laughed.  he smiled and looked at me as if he meant for me to answer the question.  huh?!  so i told him that he was done nursing a long long time ago.  he just looked at me (with a smirk on his face) and said, ” i still remember nursing, it tastes like organic milk.”  so yes, i did laugh.  and yes, he was serious.  he does drink organic milk but he couldn’t possibly remember that detail about nursing milk…or could he? 

anyhoo, i love him to pieces, but i am not that maternal…i did know of someone from the countyside that did feel ummm, maternal or something like that, that she actually did nurse or soothe her big kid.  by big kid, i mean six or seven years old.  i have no words. okay, just two words…heeeeeccccckkkk no! teehee.   whether he was joking or not…he aint getting momma’s milk. 🙂

just a few weeks to go… April 21, 2010

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okay, so i have just a few weeks to go.  in fact, may 17th at 7:30 am, baby will be on the way.  ready or not may 17th he or she will be in my arms.  yay!!!  though it will be via c-section, so what, who cares…i’m still excited.

a few weeks to go:  i am more than excited as i write this.  but, as i’m looking at my lists, there is a brief moment of panic.  i’m surprised that my heart rate checks are quite normal at my doc’s appt.  GOT. LOTS. TO. DO.  if i don’t clear out all of my spring cleaning junk by thursday, it’s all going to the curb in time for the garbage man. no joke.

a few weeks to go: i’ve got butterflies just thinking about trotting about with two kids in tow.  butterflies, just thinking about smelling the fresh scent of a new baby.  butterflies, just to hold a tiny warm body and snuggle him/her.  butterflies, just to forget about the rest of the world and all the duties that await me as i completely focus on the baby.  oh wait, i’m not sure if i can forget about all else, but it is a nice thought anyway.  butterflies, just thinking about waking up in the middle of the night to soothe the baby and then sitting there holding the baby in the still of the night…just me and the baby. *dreamy sigh*

a few weeks to go:  in the midst of all this baby excitement, life’s challenges are coming fast and furiously.  the happy, the fun, the sad and the disappointing, all at the same time.  oh well, i say.  such is life.  all i can do is breathe, meditate, pray, work on my to do lists and relax.  i can’t stress too much about all the ills of life that’s going on, so i say to it all…oh, well. sounds like a good plan, right?

a few weeks to go and i’ve still not taken studio pics of me and my swollen belly.  i don’t think i’ll get around to that, so these homemade backyard pics will just have to do.  i like them.  it’s me, my boy and my baby belly bump.

big lips and babies pt. 2… April 20, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change, baby news, he said what?, hmmmmm.
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okay, so i was preparing to head out to run errands, get the car fixed, pick up a few items, place online orders, and continue the long process of spring cleaning.  these are the things on my to do list.  as i was brushing my teeth before heading out the door i flipped the t.v. to the oprah show.  lo’ and behold it was octomom!  she’s back on t.v.  anyhoo, i was very interested in seeing what ‘ol nadya suleman is up to these days (i’ve nicknamed her big lips and babies ‘cuz, well, you know…she’s got plenty-o-lips  and plenty-o-babies). 

so i took a few minutes to watch the circus that is here life.  i don’t mean that in any way that is demeaning but she even says how crazy it is.  but, i admire the fact that she still has a bit of her sanity left.  oh my gosh, 14 kids from the age of 8 and under with 6 infant/toddlers in the mix.  insert:  head spin!!!!!!! she doesn’t have a partner/husband to take some of the stress and strain that comes with parenting and relying on for simple emotional support, which is sometimes a strain for women with a partner/husband or single moms with only a small amount of kids. i say God bless this poor woman and her brood to be okay and to come out on top. 

i must say that as she was speaking she sounded as if she has taken an introspective and retrospective look at things and knows that she went into this whole situation with thinking that was unrealistic.  she also seems to not be in denial about anything (anymore), but she does seem to be fully aware of the real needs of her family and the long road ahead of her.  i. just. can. not. fathom. the. amount. of. stress.  if i could i would send help to this little village. i’m not even kidding, really, i would.  right now i can’t so, for now, i send my prayers.  i was exhausted just watching the show.

speaking of more children…

as i await the soon to come due date of my new little one, i’m in a whirlwind of emotional highs and lows and brain cell loss and all else that comes with the final countdown.  though my head is still spinning from watching the show with the “little village” that is octomom’s house, i am excited to be adding to my crew too.  bringing new life into the world is beyond amazing and it really is the chance of a lifetime.  i have my myles, my amber (in heaven) and this sweet baby coming in a few weeks.  at one of my last doc appointments the doc that i’ve known for ten years says to me, “we have your c-section scheduled and i want to know if you have considered having a tubiligation?  i just sat there.  he turned around and looked at me to see if i was awake or if i had heard the question.  i was thinking to myself, the nerve of him asking me that question.  he went on to explain to me why he was asking and that if i wanted it done it would be a good idea to do it while he’s doing the c-section.  so, in essence, that would be a tremendous high and low all in the same day.  at least for me it would be. 

that was over a week ago that he asked me that question and i still cannot wrap my brain or emotions around it.  i said to him, “but that’s so…permanent” and he said to me in a very slow answer, “yes, that is the point of it.”  he went on to explain why he mentioned it and within his response he included my age.  ugh! whaddaya mean!!! i am still hot to trot.  “really, my body can still do this, i’ve only gained 12.5 pounds in all and i can still shuck and jive with the best of them” is what i really wanted to tell him (maybe i did say that, i don’t remember).  i am still in shock…how. dare. he. ask. me. that.  the. nerve.  i say that tongue in cheek  because i really do trust his opinions or suggestion.  he is a good doc and is leaving the decision up to me.  plus, if i left it up to him, he would be slicin’ and dicin’.

do i want more babies?  hmmmmmmm

the next time he asks me to confirm whether i am going to have the surgery or not…my answer, “if you touch my tubes you die!”  teehee. just kidding, kind of. 

i wonder if other women have had this much trouble deciding on whether or not to chop the tubes, burn the ends of them or whatever it is that they do while you’re under the knife.

speaking of my doc, he’s just concerned. speaking of me, i. am. freaked. out!!!!!! i. want. my. tubes!!!! i want them even if i don’t want more children.  do i want more children? i don’t know.  i wonder if men have the same trepidation when presented with the “opportunity” to have someone introduce a surgical knife to their woohoos? 

listen up doc, i am not the octomom, i don’t have the brood that i want yet.  back off my tube, man!

until next time,

c ya…hopefully with tubes in tow

humanity… April 13, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in hmmmmm, i'm just sayin'.
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i’m down to five -four weeks to go.  i’m excited and nervous and excited.  did i say excited?  this could possibly be the last time i get to have this opportunity of a lifetime…being pregnant, that is.  anyhoo,  i’m going to make sure that i don’t take this time for granted.  i’m doing well and enjoying my expanding belly.  i enjoy the fact that i can still wear my 3 inches (heels, of course) this late in the game.  i’m up 15 pounds and down to 4-5 hours of sleep. 

now, about that sleep thing, i hear that pregnant women sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep.  whatever the percentage of pregnant women that would be…i have joined the ranks of them.  not happily, i might add.  i’ve been told that somehow this gets your body ready for when you have to stay up late nights or get up late nights with your brand spanking new baby.  ugh.  i don’t want my body to get prepared for this.  i would much rather be thrown right into after the baby’s birth day.  ya know!

anyhoo, as i am up late nights, i sit there and make lists of things that i have to do but never really get to complete.  i would use the time to clean, but it would require that i stand up from my lazy comfortable spot in the bed or the ahem, more comfortable sofa.  so, instead of doing something more ummmm, constructive, i watch pbs, the news, or the andy griffith show.  (what did you say?  interesting choice of shows..i know, right. but, when you have limited t.v. channels, i mean antennae service only then your options are not that grand.  teehee)  anyhoo, it probably doesn’t matter because i am a big fan of the programs on pbs anyway.

so, i was up late, bright-eyed and busy-tailed and so excited to be half asleep yet wide awake.  anyhoo, i flipped the t.v. channel to pbs and tuned right to the movie “the diary of anne frank”.  wow, is all i have to say.  we all love a happy hollywood ending, but we know that this is not how this particular  story ends.  i am compelled to go back and read the book again.  what strikes me is the loss of so much of a people’s history.  loss of life.  loss of what could be.  loss of what could have been.  no matter how much i wanted to ignore the end of the story, no matter how much i know the end of the story…i still gasped as i read the names and faces of each person and the date of their demise.  it reminded me of the stories of those who didn’t make it through the ill-fated times of slavery.  it really made me wonder about humanity.  humankind.  human beings. 

i still don’t understand war, though, i do admire and pray for the strength of those patriotic enough to defend the freedoms of this country.  i don’t understand hatred, yet, i have to forgive those who hate and act and speak out of hatred. it makes me a little sad that even still today, some people have to hide or feel self-conscious or wish to be something other than who they as they exist in their environment.  my son is only six years old and he already recognizes the vast difference between him and most of the enviroment in which he lives.  he has also experienced what it is like to be treated a little bit different from others around him.  it’s my job to help him navigate his way through the world in which we live…he lives.  it’s also my job to show him how to not to join the ranks of those who treat others in an in humane way.  generally speaking, i’ve learned how to contain myself quite a bit as i see and/or experience injustice.  i don’t understand much of injustice…if any at all.  but, i hope that we can act, live and be more humane to each other and more tolerable of our differences than we are ugly and cruel to each other… simply because sometimes we think we are better than the next man/woman…human.

…all this came to mind at 3:30 am after watching pbs.  ugh…i’ve gotta get more sleep.

until next time

c ya

my secret celebration… April 7, 2010

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okay, so the other day i had my own little secret celebration.  it just so happen to be the day that easter fell on this year.  it was a day that i was able to breathe just a little bit easier.  i needed to know that i could see a certain day happen and i needed to get over a certain hump.  and…i did!  well, i wasn’t necessarily the who did it but it was a special blessing given to me. 

you see, i’m expecting  to give birth to a new little one really really really soon.  so soon that i am a little behind on my to do list.  anyhoo, i have been very nervous but definitely looking forward to the new baby’s arrival.  i do not know what to expect and how my life is going to change, but i’m excited and ready to celebrate my new family.

my secret celebration before the celebration on baby’s arrival day was the fact that i made it past a certain date in my pregnancy.  you see, i lost my little amber lynn and couldn’t bring her home with me.  she was, as myles would say, “she fell fast asleep.”  she was in jesus’ arms right away, BUT i got a chance to hold her in my arms too.  this past easter sunday we celebrated the resurrection of christ and i also had a bit of a resurrection of my own.  it was the resurrection of my heart as i met with the day that was a milestone in my pregnancy with amber lynn.  for all of these past months i have been holding my breath but i did not know exactly why i was holding my breath.  i soon figured out that it was not the many many many doc appointments that were going to help me have a peace of mind, but it was something deep within me that had to know that my broken heart could be resurrected.  what’s really interesting is that date and day fell on easter.  as we sometimes say at my hou seon easter sunday,  “happy resurrection day”.  iand t was indeed a resurrection of sorts for me.  i do know that there will still be sad days and moments just as there will be happy memories, days, moments and a happy life.  this was a pivotal day for me and i was happy to be able to celebrate it in secret.  no one knew what i was thinking and how i was feeling and i appreciated having that special moment all by myself.  it was a time and moment that was all mine…and hers.

in my house she is a natural part of our family just as all of the rest of us.  we had lots of activities over the weekend and on easter sunday one of the things that we do is to make an afternoon trip to the cemetary where we go and visit.  myles looks forward to taking a little easter basket out and chill for a bit.  for him, this is something that he looks forward to and of course, the fact that he gets a chance to inhale sweets galore once we get there.

so, as i reflect on my secret celebration and embrace the sweet memories of her, i am breathing a little easier and looking forward to adding one more to our family of four.

sweet cheeks

sleeping cutie… April 7, 2010

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okay, so it was 4:3oish a.m. and andre’s alarm sounded off (beep, beep, beep, beep).  anyhoo, myles had come in to snuggle with me but had pretty much fallen back asleep.  as the alarm goes off and without even moving or opening his eyes myles says, “good morning dad” and then he continued to sleep.  it was cute and funny how he did that.  and i know that he was really sleeping because the very moment after he said those words…he was snoring. 

i know that was pretty random but it was toooo cute.  had to share. these days, everything is super sentimental to me…i blame it on being pregnant.  teehee

true colors… April 6, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change, hmmmmm, life, my ramblings..., open minded.
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okay, so i recently participated in something that was not by any stretch a chore for me.  it was something that i enjoy doing and comes second nature to me.  i went into this, well, let’s just call it a little venture.  if i had known what the end result was going to be i would really call it a test of who i’ve grown to be. 

i went into the “venture” with no expectations and i laid pretty low about what i knew and any experience that i possessed (not that it’s impressive at all).  anyhoo, i noticed something that was quite surprising and petty.  whispers and odd questions.  you know, the who are you and where did you come from and from where did you suddenly appear kind of questions.  i got a bit of the you don’t belong in our club kind of behavior.  i must admit, it was a bit irritating at first, but i quickly rethought my response and decided to play it laid back and cool.  this is not always the case especially because snippy, snotty and judgemental and rigid thinking people…spells U-G-L-Y.  but, there is something that i realized about people that act the way they do with that kind of behavior.  they are threatened or insecure in some way and not by me, but anything they threatens their closed minded comfort level.  it may have absolutely nothing to do with me or others that they are being ugly to, but everything to do with personal issues of their own.  insecurity can make people behave in some ridiculous ways sometimes.   *that’s a whole other blog post for another day*

but, back to the story.  so, i continued to participate in this project and i encountered some nice and simply friendly and welcoming people.  then there were the others.  they happened to notice that i caught them being U-G-L-Y.  i said nothing and remained cordial to them.  they realized they were busted and tried to play friendly.  i smiled and kept a distant friendly demeanor.  quite an improvement from what i wanted to say or do which would have been cold shoulder and put them in their place.  i can be pretty good at the latter of these two scenarios, but i’ve chosen to reign in the ‘tude a whole lot more. 

as time moved on, i stayed involved with this venture even though i really seriously wanted to be elsewhere.  so, on the very last day of this venture i was saying goodbye to some of the people and one of the U-G-L-Y people happened to be standing right there and heard our conversation.  they also heard some information that surprised them a bit.  that person stood there with their mouth gaped open and surprised…wondering why i hadn’t said anything to prove my worth before now.  hmmmmm, prove my worth? 

for me, the whole experience was a humbling one.  but what was even more humbling was being able to walk through a situation not having to prove myself when i really did have it to prove.  you see, i’ve lived a lifetime of trying to prove myself to people.  i did it to such a point that i was always on the defense to defend who i  my good will.  it was crazy.  just plain ol’ crazy i tell ya. 

the thing about life now is that i couldn’t care less what someone believes or thinks of me or what they may judge me to be or not be.  the thing about trying to prove yourself to people is that you never will.  what you end up doing is proving that you’ve given weight to their opinion and words and judgement.  my response now to what others think (most times) is “so what, who cares” and i try to prove nothing to them and just simply be who i know that i am and who i was created to be. 

so, to the end of this whole venture thingy i was involved in – i somewhat dreaded it at times because of some U-G-L-I-N-E-S-S, however, i chose not to assert my right to be just as ugly and to hang in there for the good of the what i was doing.  looking back on it, some people are petty and what i’ve noticed is that petty is soooo third grade, ya know? 

to the point of showing your true colors…

never let others drag you into their ugliness and drive you to begin to act out of character.  show your own true colors and never let your good character be tainted by judgement, lies, injustice or otherwise.  trust that it will always work out in the end…even if it doesn’t seem like it.  trust me, i’ve been there and done that…many times!

until next time,

c ya

losing my religion while holding on to my peeps… April 1, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in resurrection sunday.
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this is a repost from last year easter week…

holy week is a good time for revival of our soul and relationship with God and to basically lose your religion.  so with that being said, i was just thinking about a few things as i was hanging out with my peeps…

being a candy addict, i certainly can appreciate all the yummy seasonal candies that arrive just in time for us to fill those easter baskets.  one of the fun parts to the weekend is raiding the easter basket of my myles. mmmmmmm, num yummy.  okay, it’s more like pillaging his easter basket when he is not looking. oh, i hang my head in shame with a peep hanging out of my mouth.  teehee. 

 my family and i engage in many different holy week and easter weekend festivities.  the thoughts and the rush of all the following will be happening in many different families, homes, churches, etc:  little girls and their adorable little easter dresses, little boys wrestling with their ties that match their easter suits.  there won’t be a shortage of easter hats, easter baskets, easter candy, easter shopping, big family easter dinners, easter sales, easter egg hunts, easter hair-dos, easter pageants, easter shoes, easter ham, easter cooking,  and so on and so forth.  by the way, what does ham have to do with easter?  i’ve always found that to be strange interesting.  anyhoo…

all of these things many of us have done or will do annually, without fail, sometimes with much angst…religiously.

for some people, holy week is a time to revive their relationship with Christ or maybe for the first time are reconciled to Christ.   we acknowledge, recognize, celebrate, remind ourselves and stand in awe of  what happened over two thousand years ago on our behalf. 

as my heart is stirred and i stand at a loss for words for the example Christ was for us.  even in the midst of extreme torture, what strikes me as one of the most profound moments of that night…”father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” 

as i acknowledge what he did for me and how he did it – it’s enough to make me lose my religion.  by religion i certainly don’t mean to not go to church or to not believe in God.  as a person who believes in being passionate about life and whatever you put your hands to, i feel just the same about not being religious about how you do church, but getting passionate about living as Christ lived.

as we well know, to live as Christ lived was not out of ritual and there was much sacrifice involved.  and as you can tell by some of his last words, it was not easy to take it all…for us.

to celebrate this holy week and all the activities that go with it, remember to focus less on the rituals of the season and take your mind, heart and soul to a place of holy renewal, holy wonder, holy awe, holy belief.

i’ll never be able to wrap my head around the sacrifice and the passion of our Lord.  but i would much rather live as passionately as he did and lose my religion any day.  that certainly doesn’t mean that i will lose my belief in Him. 

third world teeth? hmmmm… March 23, 2010

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okay, so, i was talking with myles about this organization called Feed My Starving Children.  i was explaining to him that his dad went in my place to help pack meals at a volunteer event.

myles:  what are they packing meals for?

me:  (explained what the org. does and who they help. i mentioned that they help people in third world or under-developed countries and poor people in need of food assistance)

myles:  what is under-developed, again?

me:  (explained the difference between america and other parts of the world.  gave him some specific differences)

myles:  i know someone who’s third world.

me:  really, who?

myles:  mrs. _________ (i leave the name blank so as not to, ahem, embarrass this person who happens to live on our street)

me:  do you mean mrs. __________, who is __________ mommy?

myles:  yes, her.  really she is third world.  you should see her teeth, ugh.  (trying to convince me to take a good look next time i see her)

me:  because her teeth look like that does not mean that she is third world, it just means that she may have to go to the dentist to get her teeth fixed. (totally not knowing what else to say)

myles:  maybe.  but, she really is poor.  (as he begins to describe this person’s mouth…in graphic details)

me:  just because someone doesn’t do a good job with taking care of their teeth doesn’t mean that they are poor.  sometimes they may look like that because they have to get better at taking care of their body and their teeth.

myles: (continued on with what he was doing as if he hadn’t said anything)

what was really interesting about this conversation is that he was kind of right.  a lot of times when i see these really sad heart gripping commercials showing down trodden people in need of help, i never thought to expect for them to look like they had no access to dental care.  strangely enough, their teeth tend to look better than some of us here in america with full access to tooth brushes, tooth paste, and for the most part a dentist, or hygienist or something.  hmph, what does that say about us and how we take for granted some of the simplest things that we have access to that others can’t even fathom having?  i won’t rant here, but, we’ve got to do better.

funny thing is, the person myles was speaking of  makes a pretty good living and has access to decent health and dental insurance!  so, why the yuck mouth?  i dunnno.  but, it is kind of a shame if we have it but don’t use it.  toothbrush, that is. toothpaste, that is. dentist, that is.

the lesson:  if you don’t want to look third world, perhaps you should smile pretty int he mirror and take care of that situation in your mouth.  if you don’t want to get embarrassed by little kids who all seem to sometimes speak what grown ups won’t say aloud, be sure to brush, rinse and visit the dentist every six months!

just an f.y.i. – i think my teeth look decent and i brush and floss quite regularly, at least two times a day.  BUT, just because my teeth don’t look like brand new shiny white pearls…myles had the nerve to comment on the fact that they’re “kinda not so shiny like his because his teeth are new because he’s young.”  what?!?!  the nerve of that kid.  i’m definitely no yuck mouth!!! though, i must admit, he does have a nice white set of pearly whites in his mouth.  all that reminding and helping with the floss/brush process has helped.  (insert pat on the back to his parents:)).  but don’t tell him i said that because i think it just might go to his head a bit more than it already has.  smile

not a whole lotta words right now… March 13, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in life.
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life with me is never dull.  always interesting and often with hills to climb.  fortunately for me, i like rock climbing.  really, i do!  but, let’s just say that there are days that the ummmm, well, let’s call them “adventures” of life, are a bit much.  again, fortunately for me, i like a good adventure.  i say that with no sarcasm at all.  i just simply say that with determination to always learn always seek an understanding as to what i’m being shown and how i can grow from any of the happenings of life. 

i remember when i was a little younger and less mature, i wouldn’t really ride the wave and seek for understanding on how to better deal with life.  well folks, life really is all what you make of it.  “survival of the fittest” is a must.  and when you find yourself going through hell, keep going! – winston churchill

as my life has often followed a pattern of highs and lows, goods and bads, happys and sads, miraculous and unbelievably yuck…simultaneously, i can trust myself and more importantly God, to navigate through all joys and pains together.  and right now, the blows, lows and highs are all coming at once.  BUT, I. CAN. DO. THIS!

my post was titled “not a whole lotta words right now”…well, you know that everything is relative.  and relative to how much i normally talk, these are few words.  the following two videos are worth listening to, at least for me right about now.  outside of pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, i don’t want to talk much…just listen.

be encouraged on your life’s journey.

green eggs and ham… March 5, 2010

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this week at myles’ school, they’ve been celebrating dr. suess’s birthday with different stories and boooks.  so, i thought it would be fun to carry out some bit of activity at home. un, un…what was i thinking…

green eggs for breakfast, yummmm (or maybe not).  dr. suess’s birthday is a good reason to bring the week to a close with a breakfast of green eggs and ham (or in our house…turkey sausage)!  you’ve all heard the story, i’m sure.  so anyhoo, i told myles that he was going to have a surprise breakfast and he was excited.  well, that excitement quickly turned to disappointment, just like SAM I AM.  he looked at the plate and immediately made the gesture as if he was going to throw up.  he asked, “what kind of surprise is this?”   i think it’s safe to say that he does not like green eggs and ham he does not like them…sam, he sord of was for the moment.  we started laughing a little  bit because the moment and the expression on his face was too funny and too priceless.  why did we do that (laugh that is)?  he stormed off with tears in his eyes as if we were playing some kind of cruel joke on him. 

the offensive breakfast of green eggs and...

i must admit, the strange looking green eggs turned me off a bit too, but i thought that a six year old boy would definitely get a kick out of it.  not!!! so, the eggs were promptly removed from his plate and he peacefully enjoyed his turkey sausage (which were not green) wheat toast and milk.  i asked myles, “so, i guess you’re like Sam I Am in the book, huh?”  without skipping a beat he told me no, because sam ends up eating them at the end of the story.  that was my big hint that he had no intentions on eating green eggs…in the end or any other time. 

no more weird colored food or “cruel jokes” (for now at least:)).  tonight we’ll snuggle up and watch the movie “horton hears a hoo”.  i’m running on very little creative juices here, so, i’ll pop some corn and hide some little “hoo” candies in the popcorn.  the bonus is that i don’t have to read the book because he loves to follow along with the book while the movie plays.  i really would read him the story at bedtime, but…momma is tired these days.

it’s fun to surprise myles with these little moments.  i see now that i am not going to always hit the mark with my so called creativity.  what’s interesting though is that he likes when i make bug juice and mud desert with bugs and worms sticking out of it.  he calls that cool.  but green eggs…defintinely offensive to him.  go figure.

until next time

c ya

odor, sweet odor… March 3, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in brown boy pride, gotta love it.
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because i’m with child, every weird or not so weird smell sends my stomach into a complete turnabout mode.  that is especially true when i first wake up.  as i slowly woke up this morning (is 3:00 am really morning?) my stomach was turning and i felt like i was choking on what sort of smelled like ben gay or something like it.  it was so strong that i could not figure out where it was coming from.  ick.  i could not stand it!  i rolled over to the other side of my pillow and here’s what i found…

all over my pillow were these sweet notes.  obviously, my myles found the sharpie markers (which he loves to write with) and decided to make his dear mommy smile.  though these sweet notes were the sweetest little love gesture from my six year old, i found myself beaming from ear to ear, high on sharpie markers and nearly running to bathroom hoping not to upchuck from the pungent odor of markers.

i neatly put all five of his little sticky notes in a plastic sleeve for my binder of keepsakes. i figured i could contain the smell and hold on to my notes to show him i really appreciate him.

anyhoo, it’s really neat to see that what you do with and for your children come back to you.  i’m always sticking little notes here and there for him and letting him know how special he is.  i always hoped, not really knowing if my little words were having an effect on him.  well, apparently they are and that makes my heart smile.

until next time

c ya

lies, lies, lies… (forgiveness, pt. 1) March 1, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in growth, my ramblings..., raising children.
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can you imagine lying so much that you no longer know the truth from a lie.  it is a delusional life.  it is the worst way to live.  simply because – it will catch up with you. 

lying is devastating and disgusting to be around. 

lying destroys relationships.

lying destroys your relationship with God.

lying does not let you see the real you.

lying does not let other people see the real you.

lying diminishes who you are.

lying keeps everyone you know and come in contact with at a distance (emotionally).

lying keeps everyone you know and come in contact with at a distance (physically).

lying creates a pretend world that no one wants to live in with you.

lying catches up with you even if you don’t think it will.

lying is as heavy as a thousand pound weight around your neck and every lie adds more weight to it.

lying does not allow for a life of freedom.

lying keeps you running from yourself and others.

by lying, you’re pretending to be something that you’re not.

most often, people can’t live with lies, but they pretend through life, live with the lies and live in shame.

lying is like a disease.  “pathological” lying is a disease!

lying is bad bad BAD!!!

i know a liar that lied so much that they could not tell the truth about even the slightest of things.  anytime they speak…i cringe and get tense.  being around them is like a heavy oppressive presence.  they have lost everything that they know and wanted in life just because of the lies that they have told.  is it enough to make them change from an oppressive life filled with lies, lies and more lies?  i dunno, we shall see.  but in the meantime, their lies have cost them my friendship and trust.

lying so angers me because its destructive nature. i find myself seething anytime someone lies to me and ESPECIALLY when someone lies on me.  ugh.

children and lies:  children go through many phases in their growth. i’ve learned that ALL children go through a phase that include lying.  what?!  ugh!!! sigh.  i. absolutely. hate. it.  our job as parents is to help them navigate their way through life without this deceptive way of being.  because i’ve experienced first hand, how someone’s lies can destroy, i am ultra sensitive to anyone lying to me.  even my sweet-faced, precious little myles, tells lies.  what?!  at first, i did not know how to handle him lying to me.  he once lied to me and it made me so livid. he immediately got in trouble and lost the privileges of playing with his most prized possessions for a period of time.  for myles, this meant that his whole world came crashing down around him.  losing toy privileges for a kid is a big deal.  put this in the context of a a grown up who lies and lies and lies. they will eventually have their whole world crash down around them, and it won’t be a few toys.  the consequences of lying is all relative. its devastating effects can seem like the end of the world and for some, it has destroyed their world…their whole life.

you see folks, lying, as you probably have gathered by now, really ticks me off.

when you lie, your children will lie.  so it is important to model different behavior.  when you lie, you don’t realize what kind of life you’re shaping for yourself.  when you lie, you don’t allow God to reveal “you” to yourself and bring healing into your life.  when you lie, you don’t get the chance to live a life of freedom, but instead, your life is much about delusions.  oftentimes, delusions of grandeur and such.   

for those of us that think little lies are no big deal, there is no such thing.  a lie is a lie is a lie.  a little lie can be just as extremely destructive as a supposed big lie. 

“ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free” – so true, so true this is!!!  there is no freedom in living with lies and hiding from yourself, hiding from others and living in shame.

why a post about lies?  well, i was reflecting on a recent experience and how devastating their lie was to me.  it has caused me to have such a strong reaction when someone lies that i have to really get a hold of my reaction when i know that someone is lying.  when i say strong reacton…it was not pretty, folks.  have i ever lied?  ummmm, yep.  just as we all have.  but, i promise myself that little lies are not acceptable and little lies or big lies i will never get away with.  and with a very stern voice, i told this to sweet-faced, precious little myles.  it scared the french fry out of him, but he got the point.

so, did i forgive this person and others who have come to mind as i delve into this topic about lying?  i am desperately working on it.  carrying the weight of what they have done is not mine to handle.  however, me forgiving them is.  this is a tough one for me but i’m determined to forgive.

anyhoo, until next time…keep it straight and tell the TRUTH!!!

c ya

give me back that filet-o-fish… February 24, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in baby news, hmmmmm.
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so, it really is true that while pregnant, you do get some cravings – weird or otherwise.  at least once a week i have a day that i crave gross, greasy, sugar filled, syrupy, fast food or something other weirdly. today was that day.  as i was sitting watching t.v., the crazy mcdonald’s commercial came on about the filet-o-fish.  i promise you that i am so not into fake unrecognizable food items, at least not since i left elementary school where we were served mock chicken legs with tan gravy.  but this was crazy catchy and i was craving wierd enough to get me interested…

 but, i must say that this filet-o-fish got my taste buds going.  i actually wanted a filet-o-fish from mcdonald’s along with a large coke with lots of ice.  yummmmmmmmm.  can you sing give me back that filet-o-fish with me.  i’m hooked, on the commercial that is.  i have yet to drive up to mickey d’s to “gimme that fish”.  can you say the power of marketing.  i’ve been sucked in like all the other folks. 

i have 12 weeks to go before i can dive into a large coke with lots of ice.  yummmmmmm.  but, i may have to hold off on that filet-o-fish, mainly because i don’t know what it is, yet.  you know, sord of like the mock chicken leg with tan gravy. the more i talk about the fish, the more i want it, whether that’s a good thing or not…i dunno.

seasons of life… February 22, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in all about change.
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my myles and his best friend aniyah

Once upon a season…

Spring blossomed, summer beamed, fall harvested its way in and winter descended and blew in as it had never done before.  things were happening and all in life looked as though it was falling apart, never to return to a place of wholeness again.  the winter grew intense and ominous.  it felt as if danger lay in wait as the people trudged their way through the snow drifts and high winds.  however, the people kept their feet moving.  as laborious as it may have been, they never stopped moving their feet.  as this rough season of life grew more and more intense, and the winter storms grew heavier and more scary than ever before, yet and still, the people kept moving forward.   

it looked as if the intensity of the harsh wintery blizzard would bury them all.  they were never overtaken by the storms behind them and it looked as if they were walking right into more uncertain times ahead of them.  the people did not change course, nor did they fret the uncertainty ahead of them because God Is With Them…always.

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you see, these two little people pictured above, with vibrant personalities, have no idea how God’s miracle(s) are playing out in their families. they have no idea the heartaches of their families as theygrieve life’s happenings and how wondrously they will emerge into something even more fantastic, even more beautiful, even more awesome than  they or i can ever imagine.

amazingly enough, providence steps in and takes care of what is needed, when it is needed.  they have yet to go “without”.  in fact, with some creative maneuvering and turning lemons into a lemonade feast, their parents have made sure that these two little ones continue to know the joys of childhood. 

 side note: generally speaking, i do not believe in being excessive.  i’m mostly practical.  i love throwing a really fun party on a budget.  i love when my favorite foods are on sale (especially because i can be persnickity about what i buy and feed my family).  i love making the best of a good sale.  i’ve had so much fun throwing my myles’ birthday blowouts on a shoestring budget.  combining my resources and some purchased items, i’ve been able to create some very memorable times for him and his friends. sometimes people assume that i’ve spent lots of cash stuff when frankly, i just enjoy being able to “make things happen” on the cheap, just to see if i can do it.

last summer, as my family and i were in the midst of experiencing difficulties from financial to emotional to spiritual to familial to” you name it”, i was determined no to let misery rule the day.  though, it may be odd to some people, when life is tough, i somehow still have push, drive, ambition, joy somewhere inside of me that keeps me moving forward, regardless. 

so, oftentimes, i make lists of things that i want to do and last summer was no different.  as i made my page long list of summer activities, i didn’t think twice that it would not happen.  in fact, i just assumed that all would work out for just about every single item.  i knew that i would not be going to the ATLANTIS  for summer vacation.  sigh.  but nonetheless, our summer was full of of rocking good times.  and yes, i was quite proud of myself and my six-year-old myles for not giving in to the culture of “i want, i want, i want”.  hey, i’m not saying that we don’t give in to it at times, BUT, there is a major limit to it (i think:)).  anyhoo, so went the fall and winter, full of joyous occasions in the midst of life’s trials.

my point in saying all of this is that i would love for my little myles to experience life in total and utter perfection.  whatever that may mean in my opinion or conjured up imagination.  ‘cuz you know, we all have in mind what a perfect childhood would be for our kids, right?  anyhoo,  that has yet to happen…perfection, that is.  unfortunately, he does know some of life’s sadness.  he seriously misses his sister, he has seen his mom and dad at odds and he has seen his family go through financial highs and lows.  we’ve done our best to keep him shielded, but as you know, kids pick up on much more than we sometimes give them credit for. 

i know that life is going to happen and sometimes in a way that we don’t ever wish.  however, i make sure that i pray for my precious boy and pray with him.  i explain and try to drill into him that our reliance should ultimately be on God.  as i grow, it is important for me to model how to healthily navigate my way through life.  i make sure that he knows that mommy and daddy do not have a magic bank card that has no end to what it can purchase.  this last fact caused him to pray really hard one night for a “must have” train that he wanted.  not that i’m laughing at him, but that was kind of funny. it was only funny because he was in a panic realizing the bank card was not endless. but i digress…

sooooo, as we continue to move through this wintry season of life, i must say that i am seeing the miracles of God on a daily basis.  and guess what folks, the changes and miracles of life have thankfully, not been financial.  this may sound strange to some people, but when you have experienced life’s wintry storms, you become and are quite thankful that God Is With You.  especially when you know in your heart, that you’re going to come out the other side of it okay.  most times, with your feelings,  the words – “God With Us” does not seem or feel so apparent.  and yes, God does understand that we will have icky ugly feelings when life is crazy.  yet, in our heart of hearts and deep down insde, we must know that He is with us.

as we now encounter and embrace life in a new way and with new things to come, i will remember that God is With Me, no matter what or how life’s seasons come.

(pictured above) as you see these four little precious hands holding up the sign that reads, “God With Us”, little do they know that that is my prayer for them to keep those words in their hearts.  they do know that God With Us is also the meaning of one of the names of Jesus – Emmanuel.  they were in attendance at a christmas service when this picture was taken.  we attend willow creek’s christmas service every year and there is always something fun and creative and whimsical and spiritual that happens.  this past christmas’ service was no different.  and this year myles was old enough to understand some of the stories that he heard and how God was with the people throughout their situations.  one day, he’ll have his own story to tell.

these two little ones holding the sign will one day read this story and remember how they were safely carried through a very very blizzardy season of life because…God Is With Them, Always!

until next time,

c ya

kisses with no strings attached…??? February 18, 2010

Posted by jonesgurl in my baby. my boyl my joy, my joy!, valentines day.
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so, on valentine’s day afternoon, i was taking a quick nap when my myles came to me and said/gave.  i opened my eyes and he was standing above me, proudly holding something in his hands and smiling.  naturally,  i wondered, “what was he up to?”

he had gone downstairs to the kitchen pantry, climbed on a step stool, grabbed a heaping hand full of hershey kisses and found his way to where i was napping…

he opened his hands…

dumped the hershey kisses all over me…

and said, “i’m showering you with kisses for valentine’s day”…

needless to say, we shared the yummy chocolate treats until they were all gone.  (i’m betting, that was part of his goal :)) i don’t normally eat much chocolate, but these were surprisingly good – hershey kisses meltaways

the moment was priceless!  and of course, i thought he was told to do that by his dad.  NOPE.  i found out yesterday that he did not even know what myles was up to and figured i had sent him to the candy container. NOPE.  anyhoo, he said myles didn’t ask for help and this sweet little mission of his was of his own doing.

 i. loved. it!!! it was sweet, a precious moment, simple, to the point and a slick way to get what you want while melting his momma’s heart, all at the same time.

some woman is going to be really fortunate…i’ve got a “miniature romantic” in the making.  teehee

until next time

c ya